As a Self-Hosted WordPress user, I find myself constantly asking the question “which is the best plugin?” There are a lot of plugins out there, some work well, some crash your entire system, other plugins might leave you vulnerable to hacker attacks. It is a crazy world to navigate. And at some point, I found myself just paying for a lot of my plugins, just so I would have the best of the best. Granted a premium plugin does not necessarily constitute “the best” there are a lot of Free Plugins out there that do the same job, but for some things, you have to pay for them. These are what I considered “worth the money.”
CoSchedule by Todaymade
After I blew through the free trial, I let CoSchedule expire, thinking that the price was not worth what the plugin delivered. But, then I went back to using Editorial Calendar and sometimes it would work. Sometimes it would fail. It didn’t have the ease of use for starting a new post that CoSchedule did, it didn’t have the quick social shares that CoSchedule did, it didn’t have the flags, or the notes, the integration with Google Calendar, the integration with all my social accounts, along with my co-blogger accounts, or the to-do lists and finally the visual editor was just so much easier to follow. I had been happy with Editorial Calendar – but once I used CoSchedule – I was not happy with the rudimentary and free plugin. Talk about innocence is bliss. Because I wrote my review, I received 50% off – and I figured, that right there made the plugin now worth the money. This plugin might not be what everyone needs, but it is what Parajunkee.com needed. The plugin runs about $50 a year if you write a review. You can save an additional 10% for everyone you refer, so technically you could get it for $10 a year – which is a steal. If you do decide to check out CoSchedule, do parajunkee.com a favor and use the referral link.
One of the most expensive plugins that I’ve purchased, (I had to buy the developer license since I use it on a few of my sites) but well worth it since it cleaned up my email like a pro. I use Gravity Forms for everything now. Everything. The main thing I use it for, is my review request. Check it out here. This review request cuts down all the email based review requests that I was receiving, which was about 10 – 20 emails a day. It also forces the requester to acknowledge that they’ve read my review policy and also see what it entails to get a review. So, in doing this, it also slimmed down my review requests. I haven’t gotten a request to review a memoir in a long time. Granted I still get the occasional review request through my email, but the majority of authors that are paying attention go this route. It also allows my other reviewers to access all the requests that come in, without me having to also flood their inboxes with the same requests I’ve received. I’ve also used Gravity Forms to set up a Review Portal – for reviewers that want to just do 1 or 2 reviews for the site. This actually propagates right into a Post, which just makes my blog self all kinds of happy. I go even further and have set up an interview portal that I send to authors – they just answer the questions right in one of my forms and it updates directly to a formatted post. Nice and perfect. It was a big deal to set it up, but once I did – amazing. The best purchased plugin that I own. Hands down. Click here to visit Gravity Forms.
Shortcodes Ultimate: Extra Shortcodes
The free version of this plugin is great, I use SHORTCODES for everything, but I needed a few more. Well I needed a content slider to be precise and I didn’t want to code it myself, this was more a support purchase than anything else, since I use his plugin so much, I figured I might as well purchase an upgrade and show support. And I really liked the extra shortcodes he offered with this add-on. He also offers a few other add-ons – but this one had the most bang for it’s buck. The clickable panels used in this post are an example of the extra shortcodes offered. If you don’t purchase the add-on, at least check out the free version, it is well worth it.
Ultimate Book Blogger Plugin
Last, but definitely not least is the plugin created by a book blogger for book bloggers. The plugin from Creative Whim aka Nosegraze aka Ashley just makes reviewing so much easier. The plugin that Ashley created automates all the tedious work of setting up reviews, blog tours, giveaways and anything else you can think of that a book blogger needs. It doesn’t do everything, but I’m sure given time, this plugin, which is updated regularly, will do more then even I thought possible. Take a look at my reviews, you see the cover image and those buttons that direct everyone to goodreads and Amazon? The publisher name, the date it was published – all done through the plugin. Then it propagates my reviews into very handy index lists, that you can also see on this site. Is the post part of a blog tour? All I have to do is give it the category Blog Tour – and it will take the banner that I upload and place it on my sidebar, listed as “Upcoming Tours.” The plugin runs $35 and is well worth it. Ashley has also added a few new features which I have yet to explore, including a dropdown shortcode adder, right in my TinyMCE. I can’t wait to see what else this girl puts into this plugin.
Hope this helps! Happy Thursday, Talk Less, Read More, Blog with Integrity.
Dishing Junk – The act of dispensing ideas of little value in a casual or silly manner.
Ever have a narrator ruin a book for you? I have! It is a terrible experience, to listen to a bad narrator, drone on and on and turn a good book, into a painful experience.
As an Audiobook Nut – I don’t want my audiobook to be a painful experience. I want crazy, happy feels for the narrator. Especially if it is a beloved series. But, it doesn’t happen all the time – and every now and again – the narrator goes really, really wrong. Let me give you some examples…
The Lip Smacker
The Lip Smacker, I don’t know whether the narrator needs some chapstick or has to take a few more gulps of water, but this person sounds like they are talking with their mouth full of food. Disgusting to hear the spit just slapping back and forth in the mouth…and I have to hear it up close and personal through my ear buds. No. No. To the Hell No. You nasty. Take a sip of water buddy.
Accents Be Gone!!!!!
The author just mentioned that the guy has a hot English accent, but the narrator is not even trying to make it happen. In fact, she’s not even trying to make him sound manly. She’s just basically reading the book. Um, the beauty of a great audiobook are the voices. At least try.
Wow. Your breathing is making me feel really uncomfortable. In fact, if I wasn’t pretty sure you had to record this with other people at least close by, I might think that you are enjoying yourself a little too much. Did the author really right all those “oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh’s” into the text, or was the narrator just adding it for effect. I get it, she enjoyed it. But, I’m kinda feeling like I just watched a porno.
Is That How They Say it? No.
I’ve been listening to the OUTLANDER series, and the narrator consistently says the word plaid over and over again. She pronounces it “played” though. “His played was all dirty.” Is this a Highlander thing, cause most of the people pronounce plaid – plad? So, every time she says it, I’m popped out of the story. Granted she might be trying to be authentic – but it just bugged me. That is the one I could name off the top of my head, most of the time, it’s every day words like electricity, or subpoena that they are getting wrong and it makes me go, huh?
You Ain’t No Native
I usually don’t listen to audiobooks that are based in New Orleans, because the majority of the times they get it really wrong. We screw up all of our words, so if you don’t ask a native, you won’t say it right. When it’s messed up, it is an eye-roll moment and I find myself not enjoying the story as much, because it’s not authentic.
I know the author named their character something really cray cray – but didn’t you ask her/him how to pronounce that name? Cause you just pronounced it like five different ways. You think someone would have caught that.
Little Girly Voice
Boys have to do girls voices, girls have to do boys voices. That is just the nature of the game. There are very few audiobooks that can boast a full cast. Audiobooks usually only happen in that fashion when they are about to become a MOVIE. A big movie – like Ender’s Game. Most of the time, you got a chick doing guy voices or vice versa. And sometimes those voices go terribly wrong. Like when a female narrates a big Alpha hotness and makes him sound like he’s got his balls in a vice. Or a male narrates a female and turns her into some kind of old woman or a badly stylized drag queen. She’s supposed to be tough, just not sound like she’s hiding a penis. Just saying.
I’m sleeping, you are so boring, droning and droning in your old man / old woman voice. This is the reason I couldn’t listen to GAME OF THRONES. Droning and droning and droning.
The Long Pause
These weird pauses between paragraphs make me think that I actually hit the stop or pause button on my player. Why was there that weird pause, don’t they have people to edit that out?
It Don’t Fit
The voice just doesn’t fit the character. The heroine sounds flighty and young, when she is reading for a mature, tough as nail character. Or the reverse, when a character sounds way too old for the young adult character they are reading. Just doesn’t fit.
Do you enjoy audiobooks? What issues do you have with narrators?
If you are anything like me you are always striving for the “next great post.” I realized long ago that my reviews don’t pull as much traffic as some of my other posts, which gives me all kinds of sad feels. I love doing reviews and they are the backbone of my blog, but frankly, people aren’t reading my reviews as much as they are reading everything else. My humor draws crowds, my snark brings them in with a vengeance, (elaborating here – if you think crowds are like 10 people) but my honest opinion on random book titles. Not so much. They get traffic – just not nearly as much as my “How To Piss Off A Book Blogger” type posts.
But, how does one think up non-review type posts? That is what we do, right? We are book bloggers, we review books. Not necessarily. You are only what you make yourself and your blog. It can literally be anything you want. But, if you want to stick with the “book blogger” theme – there are only so many crazy posts that one book blogger can churn out, right? So, here let me help. I know you want to try something new, but don’t know in what direction you want to head. Here are some ideas for great post ideas that “the people say” might draw a bit more traffic to your blog. Any of these ideas can easily be conformed to fit our niche blogging world.
Ten Post Ideas That Will Draw Traffic to Your Book Blog
These are the biggest draws, in my opinion. The Book Nerd in us still wants to learn! Posts like this one that you are reading are very popular. If you know how to do something, or recently picked up a skill that you think others will benefit from, share it! You can’t go wrong with a tutorial. It doesn’t have to be a weekly feature. Just drop some knowledge.
#2 Resource Dump
Interested in a particular topic? Research it and post the information on your blog. I do this a lot, especially if it is a particular painful endeavor, like switching from Blogger to WordPress. I did my research and then I offered up links on where I “learned” how to do it. I finally wrote my own tutorial on the subject – but before I was ready to make that commitment, I had no trouble offering up where I was gathering my information from. You can do this for anything you want. Where to find great eBook deals, who to contact for ARCs – you name it, if you had to search around to find out the information, chances are, others would love that information too!
Lists are always a great way to change things up on your blog and they are easy to accomplish. Do a few different things, every now and again! Lists are what made memes Like “Top Ten Tuesday” so popular. Everyone loves lists! Cater it to book lovers – like Top Ten Book in ____ genre. Those are always great.
#4 Cheat Sheets
Cheat Sheets will attract a lot of attention to your blog, especially if it’s a good topic. Cheat Sheets are basically a PDF or other downloadable file that users can print out and use to complete a task. They are harder to put together, but the draw is WELL worth it.
Let it out and let it go. Rants always attract a good bit of attention, especially if it is a heartfelt and logical rant. Well, ignorant rants gets a lot of attention too, but it is usually not positive attention. Don’t be afraid to let your opinion be heard, it will draw more attention the more controversial the subject. Just make sure, this is the kind of attention you want. If you take a side that has people opposed to it – you might get some blow back. Always be prepared for blow back.
#6 Challenge / Project Posts
Host a challenge or challenge your readers to do a certain task. Host a project and pepper it with fun to-dos and tasks. Join forces with other bloggers and make it a join effort. I know a few girls have started a “Book Blog Walkers” group – and they’ve challenged each other to get active. Projects like this can be fun and introduce you to other bloggers that you can form lasting friendships with.
#7 Event Post / Participation Post
Host an event, or join in on another bloggers meme or challenge. You’ll find that everyone that is participating will visit back and forth. Events are also great because you can ask for sponsors, host giveaways and draw a bigger crowd then usual because there is more hype around the event.
#8 Personal Stories
Share a personal story, humorous stories are always a great share, but maybe try an inspiration story or a challenge you went through. Sharing a personal story will humanize yourself to your readers and they can probably relate to a few things that you bring up, they also draw more commentors, since readers feel that since you shared they should reward that with a nice comment.
#9 Survey / Quiz
Survey your readers or have a quiz about a fun topic. Poll them and offer the information in a later post.
Try out satire, or give a bit of comedic interruption to you blog. It doesn’t have to be anything over-the-top, maybe just share a funny picture. I love to post satirical posts – some don’t go over as well as I would like. Satire is often misunderstood – but when it does hit, it usually hits hard and makes a really good impression. If you don’t think you are up for the task, read around the blogoshere – see what others are doing that makes you laugh out loud. I bet you might surprise yourself if you give it a try. What could go wrong!?
Happy Thursday! Keep blogging with that crazy book blogger passion! Talk Less. Read More. Blog with Integrity!
Dishing Junk: The act of dispensing ideas of little value in a casual or silly manner.
No matter how many times I think I’ve seen some public figure make an ass out of themselves on social media, another one steps up to the plate and trumps their ass showery with a gem of a public debacle. Most of the time it just leaves me and the shuddering masses agog with disbelief as we watch the drama unfold. But, what most of these events have in common is the fact that it usually has a personal effect on some select individuals – and those individuals can be really hurt. So, the next time you tweet or post or status update – maybe use your brain. If you have one.
1. POLITICALLY CORRECT
Is a good stance. There is a reason that most people try to aspire to be politically correct. It’s because they don’t want to piss off anyone. And believe me, there are tons of people you can piss off by not being politically correct. Just because you are White, Christian and Female and live in a small town where everyone is just like you – does not mean that the majority of the people that follow / read / stalk you are also the same. In fact a good bit might be very different from your usual demographic of personal associates. So posting a picture depicting a certain demographic of peoples in a very negative fashion might really anger a few. Because when you do things like that, the term racists, sexist, bigot…are usually used when describing you as a person. And the majority of readers do not want to support a person with those adjectives in front of their name. And then suddenly the social media is full of tweets like this:
While you think we might want to see that – while you might believe that your followers will be wowed by what you are showing them – think again. Really, we don’t want to see it. In fact we might really be turned off by what you are showing us. Put it away…and maybe think about it when you sober up. The funny thing is, half the time this happens when the user mistakenly @’s someone instead of DMing them. Or just straight up tweets it out, instead of putting it in the DM box. It happens to the best of us. Even celebs like Lance Armstrong can’t figure out twitter sometimes…remember when he tweeted out his phone number? Oh wait – he wasn’t alone, genius Charlie Sheen did it also.
3. No One Likes a Whiner.
Especially when you whine and whine about something that most of us would be jealous over or something you are supposed to do. Ever go to dinner with an ass hat that likes to brag with a whine? “Oh my Porche doesn’t have enough leg room, for my long long beautiful legs.” Or more to the point, the author that whines about books sales to her readers, then when she gets called on the table she deletes the post and then writes another post about how she isn’t sorry. Then writes another post about she isn’t Google and readers should not ask her stupid questions. Frankly some authors should maybe stay off Facebook and Twitter.
4. Spam Me.
There is no quicker way to get your twitter account blocked on my end, like sending me some stupid tweet “buy my book.” If your account is full of these types of tweets – when a really interested reader takes a look at your account all they will see is a Spammer and they won’t go any further. There is a right way and a wrong way to promote your book and you are doing it all wrong.
5. Talking Politics.
Please see number one. Just because you are left leaning and all your friends agree with you, does not mean the majority of your readers and followers will agree with you. I understand standing up for what you believe is right is very important to us creatives types, I am all about standing up for Rights and Injustices. But, don’t shame the other side in doing so. I have friends that believe in creationism. You might believe in creationism. I don’t necessarily believe in creationism. I wouldn’t get on twitter and call people that believe in creationism idiots or narrow-minded fools. Which I’ve seen done. You wouldn’t want them to call you a narrow-minded fool, would you? So, why are you doing it to them? What if a good 10% of your readership believed in that particular gem – imagine what losing 10% of your readership would do? And that is a small number. Currently 42% of Americans take this stance. You Could technically lose almost half of your readers. You probably deserve it though, because calling out another person’s beliefs – that is what I called “narrow-minded.”
6. Mock Your Readers
I don’t get this. I don’t get this at all – but authors do it. All the time. They go on rants, mocking their readers. Mocking emails that their readers send them. Mocking their readers for stupidly buying their erotica novels instead of their YA novels. Why do you do this authors?? What is wrong with you? Yes, that email that you just got might have been inappropriate – but your dumb post mocking this fan that took the time to write you an email – is now not a fan anymore. Along with a few bystanders. Dumb.
7. Liar Liar.
Why do authors find it necessary to get on sites like goodreads.com and make up fake profiles, use stock photos for their author bio pics, or generally make up fake sock puppet accounts to both promote their book and trash the “competition?” The creepiest versions of this break down in intelligence lead to authors pretending to be teens and tweens that LURVE their book so much that they have to spam other users with “teenspeak” versions of “buy this book!” Write weird glowing reviews and even email the competition with “you suck so bad you need to die” type of emails. Why? I don’t know why. But, it is creeptastic and when it comes out you are doing this – the internet shit will hit said fan – and you’ll learn the definition of troll. Because you haven’t seen anything yet, oh you little cutesy author troll, you.
8. Trolling for Dummies
Speaking of trolls. Readers aren’t the only trolls out there. Oh there are wonderful trolls created by authors that come out of the wood work to attack reviewers. They even have whole sites dedicated to “anti-reviewer” trolls. Once you throw your towel in with sites like STGRB – ahem Anne Rice, in the words of the Mr. Zoolander “You’re dead to me boy.”
Feeling aggressive? Well stay the HELL off social media. There is no reason to attack other users, especially if you are an author. Read a bad review about your book? Don’t discuss it and mock the reviewer with you agent. Talk about a reviewer in general and use really slanderous words to describe them…don’t laugh, I’ve seen reviewers called Psychos, The Big C, Rapists (that was me! I’m a total rapist and still holding a grudge), Ignorant…oh I can go on and on! Don’t go on a rampaging assault on them via twitter. Fingers will be screen capping that stuff before you can say “career ender.” No one likes angry. Don’t send your fans to attack. Don’t send your staff to attack. Don’t even mention it. I mentioned Anne Rice in #8 – well she is also famous for this one. Just an innocent Facebook post about this “mean” reviewer and then hordes of angry Anne Rice fans are flocking to the review to attack and attack and attack. Oh little Anne didn’t do it! She just mentioned it. No culpability there. BS. For actions like this I lost a favorite author. She’s coming to a big signing here in the next month. I will not be going. I will not support her in any way, I will not buy her books, if I could get my money back on the 20+ books I’ve already purchased of hers, I would… I feel like a jilted lover. And in some ways, that is what fans feel like when there idol goes bezerker.
10. Allow Your Husband / Spouse / Sister to Defend You
I know your sister loves you and so does your husband, or your wife or your live in housekeeper that is actually your wife but you can’t claim her because your other wife would get jealous…yeah they love you. But, if they get on social media and talk shit in defense of you or your book. Well, that is just wrong. And you are wrong by association. Sucks, but it’s true. And it will get you on the “what a weirdo list.” Take it from authors like Emily Griffin, let your husband defend you from real life attackers – not internet reviews.
What do you think? Have authors done something that seriously offended you into NEVER EVER EVER reading them again? Share share share.
In yesterday’s post, we discussed what pisses us off as bloggers. It’s easy to see the final result. The point at which someone is pulling out their hair in frustration because – some unknowing person stepped into a pile of social faux pas. Sometimes though, it’s not always apparent when the ball first begins to roll. Most of the real damage comes when other bloggers doing things intentionally, but a good majority of the time – it seems to be just from sheer stupidity. The person that coined the phrase, “ignorance is bliss” obviously didn’t foresee the invention of social media – so please, if you are blogger do not embrace this particular mantra. Ignorance is not bliss, in fact, ignorance can get you faced with being black listed from the blogging community before you can even say “burn my feed.”
Don’t Be Stupid. Stay informed about Blogger Social Etiquette.
WHEN IN DOUBT. ASK AN EXPERT.
Don’t just stand there with your gooey bits hanging out, if you have a question – ask! Don’t do something you are unsure about, simply so you can claim “I didn’t know.” If you are unsure about a particular topic or rights to do something, well then ask! Find an expert. Find a website. Find the person that you are probably going to piss off and ask them if it is okay if you do this or that. You want to do a meme that is inspired by another meme?? You think maybe your meme might cause the other person to get persnickety? Well then ask them. If they say that is a rude thing to do – well now you know. If you chose to continue you on your path, you know the result.
GIVE CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE.
If something created by another blogger or artist inspired your post or graphic, or idea. Credit. Credit Credit. It doesn’t have to be some crazy list of citations. Just say at the end or at the beginning – this post inspired by – and then list your inspirations.
STOP IGNORING PEOPLE.
Respond to comments, respond to mentions. Speak when spoken to. Engage in a discussion in your comments. They left a comment for a reason, now get in there and say hello. You don’t have to do it on every post. I know for some posts, like giveaways – the only thing I could say would be “thanks for entering” so I don’t respond to those comments. But, for the important ones, review posts, discussion posts – you need to respond.
THE GOLD RULE IS ALSO VERY ALIVE IN BLOGGING.
You know that rule. That GOLDEN RULE. Do unto others…yada yada. Well it applies to blogging. You need to apply that to your daily blogging regimen. If you doing something think “would I like someone to do that to me?” If you wouldn’t – well then – maybe reevaluate your stance on that particular topic. I understand fairness and honesty comes into play here also. If you are being fair and honest – but wouldn’t like that fairness and honesty if the shoe was snug on your foot – well then you have to figure out how best to do it. That is more focused on reviewing though. And probably should be another discussion post. This is about fairness and rightness and basic etiquette. You wouldn’t want someone else stealing your content right? Or copying your idea? Or spamming your inbox? Talking about you on twitter? Bashing you in a blog post? So don’t do it to other people.
YOUR CONTENT IS NOT THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE.
If you have this kick-ass giveaway that you think everyone will want to enter. If you think that OMG – it’s so awesome they won’t care if I send out a mass email telling them about it – cause OMG – they will want to enter it. STOP. They don’t care what you have in that email – because, guess what? They won’t even read it. They might see our name, see the subject, read the first line, get offended – delete it. Hopefully they won’t report you for spam. Your content is not the exception. You are still spam.
YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL, YOU ARE ONE OF MILLIONS…
There are millions of blogs, thousands of book bloggers, hundreds of bloggers that blog in your niche (if you are lucky). You are not special. You do not stand out. You are just one of many. Nothing gives you any exception to the rules of blogging. You can not say – “Well I’m Parajunkee” so I can just do it this way and people will deal with it. Wrong. You know how people will deal with it? They won’t give two bits about what you have to say. Breaking the rules is a sure fire way to get yourself ostracized. You are not a special snowflake where people will ignore your behavior because it’s YOU. Sorry kid. If you want to feel special, go get a hug from someone who loves you. In the blogging world it takes a lot to get noticed and doing underhanded things – will not get you the right type of attention. Even if you think that you deserve the attention.
If ya Mamma didn’t teach you social etiquette, I guess we are all screwed – but just in case you weren’t paying attention these rules apply in life and in blogging. It’s that pesky social contract that we all agree to as human beings. Be fair. Be honest. Treat others in the same way you would want them to treat ya Mamma.
- Engage in a courteous manner, if the other person is also being courteous
- If you make a commitment, keep it.
- If someone does you a kindness, give them a thank you
- If others are waiting, you must wait also
- Remember anything you put on the internet can come back and haunt you
- Excuse Me and I’m Sorry should be a part of your vocabular
- Respect others
- Be courteous
- Don’t be selfish
- Don’t be greedy
- Look up the word inconsiderate and ask yourself “Does this describe me?”
- Don’t steal
- Don’t be jealous
- Don’t judge
- Don’t assume
Do have fun! And don’t over think things. Most of you are kind, courteous people…and you don’t have to be told this. But sometimes life and work and things sometimes blind us to the people around us. I’m just as guilty.
Happy Thursday. Talk Less. Read More. Blog with Integrity.
Dishing Junk: The act of dispensing ideas of little value in a casual or silly manner.
There are so many ways to REALLY piss off a Book Blogger. We are an excitable lot. We tend to get offended when social rules are violated, but we also tend to be lenient when it comes to socially awkward exchanges. Most of us go by the motto, “It doesn’t hurt to ask.” But, the moment a social rule is broken with flagrant disregard for the blogger, even if it was done in ignorance, we get on twitter – and let it all hang out. Here are the top ten ways that you can get moved to my “black list”….
1. Take without asking.
Theft. Copyright violation. Plagiarism. You are a thief. You are dishonest. You are a plagiarist. Just because you didn’t use a gun and point it at me, forcing me to hand over my possessions – doesn’t change much – you did it much sneakier – cause you did it in the guise of self-promotion and greed. You can’t use my content, putting your own spin on it. You can’t even take my stuff and put my name under it – without asking first. You can’t copy any of my text. You can’t grab any of my images. You know why? I paid for it. Or I created it. You see that stock photo up there? I paid for it – it’s not yours, it’s mine. If you want that stock photo – march your ass to Shutterstock and purchase it yourself and add the text in Photoshop, or whatever other pirated software you are using. Grabbing my graphics – and “adding your own flare” to it – is not considered similar “to taking a car to get painted” – NO it is considered copyright violation. You steal my stuff – I will be pissed off – and I’ll hold a grudge for a long time. Plus I’ll tell all my twitter buddies, maybe even do a post about it. Maybe when I see you at a blogging convention I’ll throw a really heavy ARC at your head. Okay, well maybe not, but I’ll be sure to glare at you… and then rejoice when your blog disappears. Poof. Karma is a bitch.
2. Email Newsletter Magic.
How did I get on your email newsletter, oh dear author? Oh new blog tour company? My guess, you added me to it without my permission. Because I know I didn’t sign up for it. You either purchased a list – or went around searching for book bloggers and just added me to it. I loathe this. I loathe this act so much that if you use something like MailChimp or Constant Contact I will report you as spam. And do you know what they do if you get too many spam reports? They shut your account down. There goes that email list that you put together. Boom.
3. Correct me in comments.
Did you just leave a comment telling me that I used its instead of it’s and I should work on that more? WTF is wrong with you? If I saw you on the street and walked up to you in front of your friends and told you – “Hey bra, stripes and plaid – yeah, not working.” How would that make you feel? But, if I pulled you to the side and whispered, “you might want to rethink your outfit.” Still a bit bitchy, but at least more tactful, right? Email me if you feel the need to correct my grammar. I know it can be terrible at times, I never claimed to be a great writer…just don’t call me out in comments. That really ticks me off. Every time someone has done this, I usually reply with a really mean retort. I can’t help it. It pisses me off.
4. ARC Misuse
I put this as one topic – but it is just the general misuse of ARCs that really pisses me off. First and foremost, being the people that sell the ARCs on Ebay – that really gets my goat. Hate them. Secondly are the grubby little ARC grabbers at conventions. I saw this chick walk away with like 10 ARCs of this one book at BEA – she just walked away, buried under a stalk of the book I wanted. When I got there. They were gone. She had just swiped the entire pile. Die!!!! Finally, the last one on my list, the “deserved” ARC recipient. The one that is so deserving of that ARC – they want it so bad. They see you have it from your #bookhaul photo – so they email you and tell you that you must send it to them. “And they will be eternally grateful and supportive for the rest of their lives!!! OMG!” Bite. Me.
5. Argue My Opinion.
Everyone is entitled to
my their opinion. I get this. But, don’t tell me I’m a nut because you don’t agree with my like or dislike of a book. Have you had this happen to you? Oh my, it is annoying. To get a comment on one of my reviews – arguing with me on WHY the book should be thought of as “This Way” is very very annoying. And really ruins my day. I’m not going to sit down at your table and tell you “why are you eating Meatballs. Gah! Meatballs are so nasty. What is wrong with you?” Why comment on my review in this manner?
6. Bad Mouth.
There was a trend and it might still be happening. But, just not to me – but there was a few bloggers that took it into their dumb little heads to email the authors and tell them – they shouldn’t be doing promotions with Parajunkee – they should be doing them with their little selves. Because Parajunkee smells funny and lies about her stats. (Exaggerated) But it did happen, and ruined my entire month. The author was a personal friend, so they forwarded the email. She also said, that even if she didn’t know me personally, she would have ignored the email – because it just sounded petty and immature. So there. But, it happens. There are a few bloggers that are very competitive. There are a few that are still operating to this day – that used similar tactics. Not so in your face – more subtle – it is why they are still around. And it worked for them. It really pisses me off. Especially when they target newbies that don’t know how to handle it. If you’ve experienced anything like this and don’t know how to handle it. Email me.
7. Show Me Your Ass.
Granted if you have an attractive ass, I wouldn’t mind seeing it- I guess. But, when you show me your metaphorical ass, via email or social media – then I kind of get pissed. Especially when I get accused of something. I don’t know how many times I have been emailed or tweeted something – because I FAILED at some responsibility or another that the blogger or author cooked up in their puny mind. Whether I wasn’t “policing / running / operating” my memes well enough, or the fact that when I mentioned their blog name in my tutorial – I didn’t link it to the proper page, or quote them in the proper way, including their graphic and or their promotional banner along with a donations button for their paypal account (don’t laugh – I’ve had this happen!). Or the fact that my review just wasn’t up to what they expected of me. Maybe I called the book satire and it was really Darwinian Social Commentary – a new form of dark humor to rock the modern era. Or my favorite, “as a seasoned blogger I should be doing XXX for start-up bloggers.” Yeah, hold your breath and wait for me to jump through hoops for you. You, that I have NO idea even existed until you emailed me. Then I looked up your blog – noted your url in a special list, in a excel spreadsheet called douchebags.xls
Ever have an author threaten you over a negative review – or not accepting a review? I have. It sucks. And it really pisses me off. What are you going to do? And then I think about it and it’s scary. With sites like STGRBs that hack systems to find out mailing addresses and phone numbers there is no end to the crazy. You almost want to give in to these lunatics. Especially as you watch microcosms of internet groups go off the chain with trolling and real life situations. Heard of “Swatting?” Holy crap – could you imagine if this hit the blogging world? Hopefully we aren’t this idiotic. “I won’t post the negative review, I’ll just post promo copy instead.” Screw that. Stalk me, fine. Luckily I know a few police officers. (Looks over shoulder)
9. Pirate Bloggers.
Not the ones with eye patches – but the douchenozzles that blog about books and then post the link where you can download the pirated copy of the book from their servers. Because they are poor. Because they love to read, but just can’t pay these prices. GO TO THE LIBRARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t like pirates in general, but the ones that are operating under the guise of a book blogger / book lover – and then offering up pirated copies. Girl, you ain’t poor – you are just angling for the pageviews. The word to describe you rhymes with poor though. Just saying.
10. The Bully Lie.
You are stating your opinion in an assertive and aggressive manner. OMG BULLY!!! BULLY!!! U. R. A. Bully! *takes deep breath* BUUUULLLLLY. Now we must gather eight of our closest friends to email you incessantly, harass you on twitter and declare that you are a BULLY to the entire world. BULLY. Bully. Bull shit. I have been accused of being a bully, because of my opinion about blogging. I don’t know about you, but when you receive about ten emails and a good bit of twitter mentions – that lean very negatively and call you names, well then who is getting bullied? If I used that type of terminology. Because I’m an adult. And I used the term harassment and cyber stalking – instead of the school yard term bully. I don’t like it directed at me but I really hate when it is directed at others. Because, I can take it. It doesn’t really hurt my confidence or damage my self-worth. But, of course it pisses me off. But, when I see it directed at others – especially when I see it tearing at their self-confidence – well then I get really pissed off. Because there is one thing about a
BULLY Predator, they know who will fight back…and they know who will let them get away with it – and most of the time they go after the weaker target.
Thanks for reading. Hope you are having a great Wednesday. If you are having any issues, find that you are targeted for some reason, bullied, harassed, stolen from etc and you do not know how to deal with it. Please email me. Either to just vent your story to a sympathetic ear – or if you need action taken. I know stuff like this can be very overwhelming. Come and let Auntie PJ know about it. XOXO
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