The Most Useless New Year’s Resolutions

The Most Useless New Year’s Resolutions

DISHING JUNK

The Most Useless New Year’s Resolutions

You’ll Probably Break by March

Useless New Year's Resolutions

Dishing Junk – The art of dispensing ideas of little value in a casual or silly manner.

04 January 2017

We all make them: Useless New Year’s Resolutions. I’m guilty. Lose five pounds by March, join a gym, stop cursing…to name a few. We’re even guilty of making ridiculous ones when it comes to reading and blogging. Here are a few that I think might not be feasible, what do you think?

I will spend more time working on blogging and not trawling social media. I will pop in and pop out!

Let’s face it, social media is a time suck. You set out to write 2K words, or an errant blog post, but you need to check Facebook to see how your last post is doing (sure, own it) and suddenly you laughing hysterically as you’ve just watched ten kitten videos and 2 hours has passed. You say you won’t do this anymore…but kitten vids are too tempting. I give you until the end of January for this resolution.

How about a better resolution? I shall not watch kitten videos!

Sure. That’ll work.

I shall not go over my “book budget” of {insert unreasonable amount} a month. I shall stick to my budget. This also applies to all the Amazon gift cards I got for Christmas. I shall use them on useful stuff, like groceries.

Oooh look at all the GREAT New Releases for February 2017! OMG I didn’t know  {insert moderately favorite author here} was releasing a new book! OMG I must read it.

I will no longer DNF books, I will stick it out until the end and write the review, even if it is a not so gushing review. No more giving up.

I just can’t do it anymore! They said this was a dystopian and the only thing dystopian about this book was that it was set in the desert.

You’ll take a solemn pledge to FINALLY read that classic book that supposedly everyone has read but you. You’ll even get it at WalMart for $1 cause no one else is buying it. You buy it. You even buy it for your Book BFF.

This book is supposed to be a classic, but all it is doing is boring you. You even try to pawn it off on your kid by doing a “classic reading” before bedtime. You make it to Chapter 2.

Book Resolutions
s2art / via Flickr

You shall finally clean up your TBR this year.  You’ll do it. You’ll read all 78 review requests, 55 eBooks, 12 series books, and 23 special hardbacks you got on sale.

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The Most Useless New Year’s Resolutions

We all make them: Useless New Year’s Resolutions. I’m guilty. Lose five pounds by March, join a gym, stop cursing…to name a few. We’re even guilt of making ridiculous ones when it comes to reading and blogging. Here are a few that I think might not be feasible, what do you think?

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Cover Junk – Holiday Edition

Ready to talk about some covers? Some Apocalypse covers? Yes! I am. I love cover snark editions, it’s the evil in me. But, really – I wish I could make everyone’s covers pretty. If I was a millionaire it would be my philanthropy.  But, sadly, I’m not a millionaire. Today we are dishing it out for the Apocalypse cover variety. All covers were found just perusing the dregs of Amazon. They link back to Amazon, so technically I’m giving them promos. You’re welcome.

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Five Reasons 2016 Sucked Big Time

Five Reasons 2016 Sucked Big Time

There has been no other year that I wanted to see GO more than 2016. There are so many reasons…but these are the top five.

Ten Reasons 2016 Sucked
10 Reasons 2016 Sucked

Being subjected to political insanity all year long, guilt, pain, horror…it just never ended. I’m so glad it’s over, but I have a feeling it might not be.

Ten Reasons 2016 Sucked
10 Reasons 2016 Sucked

Mass shootings, bombings, stabbings, trucks running people over…it never ended.

Ten Reasons 2016 Sucked
10 Reasons 2016 Sucked

Zoo keepers shooting animals at the zoo to alligators killing toddlers at Disney World. Disney! No where is safe in 2016.

Ten Reasons 2016 Sucked
10 Reasons 2016 Sucked

Bugs, viruses, and colds! 2016 was the year of the Zika virus and in my household, it was also the year of a few stomach viruses, the STREP, and many more not so pleasant bugs that we luckily can get over. To make matters worse I read a news article that said there is a resurgence of Ebola in Africa. WTH?

Ten Reasons 2016 Sucked
10 Reasons 2016 Sucked

What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger seems to be the saying of 2016 – but unfortunately, it killed us. A lot of us. Two Star Wars icons, one Serenity icon, beloved comedians, iconic political figures, famous actors, amazing 80s sensations…oh this is making me tear up.

 

Now I’m depressed. Bring on 2017 please.

Cover Junk – Holiday Edition

Cover Junk – Holiday Edition

Dishing Junk – The act of dispensing ideas of little value in a casual or silly manner.

Ready to talk about some covers? Some Apocalypse covers? Yes! I am. I love cover snark editions, it’s the evil in me. But, really – I wish I could make everyone’s covers pretty. If I was a millionaire it would be my philanthropy.  But, sadly, I’m not a millionaire. Today we are dishing it out for the Apocalypse cover variety. All covers were found just perusing the dregs of Amazon. They link back to Amazon, so technically I’m giving them promos. You’re welcome.

Don’t get me wrong, there were a lot of PRETTY holiday romance books. A lot of kissing, a lot of snow.

But…then

‘Tis the season for Photoshopped Santa hats and Christmas presents….and kittens…and bears…and couples that just don’t match…but they share fringe and of course balls.

 

And I get it. It’s hard to find a good image, especially for a specific genre. And the images that are “good”, well…they get overused. Sometimes badly…

So…instead of going the “normal” route – they try something different. It’s hard being different. Most of the time it doesn’t work. People don’t like change. They like what they expect. Props to these authors for stepping out of the box, but really…they stepped in the wrong direction.

What is an author to do? This is a hard game. Stay in the box and deliver generic? Or step out of the box and maybe get pushed back in – told “put it away!!!” Or maybe keep it simple…really, really simple.

And then there are the covers—that just fail. Like this one below, that would be great if the designer understood “constrain proportions” in Photoshop. Shift, transform people. Or, when constructing a pretty cover, make sure when placing text…it reads in the proper order.

So, what is the moral of this story? I don’t know, I haven’t figure it out. Photoshop is hard? Seen any bad covers later…please share.

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The Most Useless New Year’s Resolutions

We all make them: Useless New Year’s Resolutions. I’m guilty. Lose five pounds by March, join a gym, stop cursing…to name a few. We’re even guilt of making ridiculous ones when it comes to reading and blogging. Here are a few that I think might not be feasible, what do you think?

Five Reasons 2016 Sucked Big Time

There has been no other year that I wanted to see GO more than 2016. There are so many reasons…but these are the top five.

Cover Junk – Holiday Edition

Ready to talk about some covers? Some Apocalypse covers? Yes! I am. I love cover snark editions, it’s the evil in me. But, really – I wish I could make everyone’s covers pretty. If I was a millionaire it would be my philanthropy.  But, sadly, I’m not a millionaire. Today we are dishing it out for the Apocalypse cover variety. All covers were found just perusing the dregs of Amazon. They link back to Amazon, so technically I’m giving them promos. You’re welcome.

How to Miserably Fail at #bookstagram – Dishing Junk

How to Miserably Fail at #bookstagram – Dishing Junk

Dishing Junk – The act of dispensing ideas of little value in a casual or silly manner.

Bookstagram(mers) are the new COOL kids of the book blogging world. First, the Book Tubers came along and pissed all in our cheerios and now it’s them + the bookstagram peeps. And what’s more annoying than spelling bookstagram? Seeing their pictures will all the stuff in and thinking – to compete with that I gotta spend a crap ton of money on tchotchkes that are gonna get full of dust and sit on my shelf taking up precious book space. But – if you are dying to get in on the craze, I have so not-so-good tips just for you!

Hashtags

Your photo will not be seen unless you use a hashtag. Hashtags are the way other can search for photos similar to the ones they post. Everyone who posts using #bookworm will all be in the happy #bookworm family. So…you want to be in as many groups as possible, so hashtag in every way you can. Instagram has ones that just pop up – click and click and click by just typing #. Then if it doesn’t pop up, make shit up. Who knows, you might start a trend.

 

Bookstagram Tips

Props

Props make the #bookstagram. Without props you are taking a picture of a book. Oooh. No one has seen that before. No need to spend any money on props. Just grab whatever you have lying around and stick it in the picture. If you are confused, just color code it and make it awesome. Don’t second guess yourself, throw it in there and just do it. Sure, a dried up old leaf has nothing to do with the Steampunk book you are promoing…but it sure looks cool with that cover. It’s not about the book – it’s about the photo!

Bookstagram Tips

Lighting and Resolution

Any photographer will tell you lighting and resolution will make the image. Make sure you have the proper lighting and take the photos with a good camera. If worst comes to worst go outside and drop your book in the grass and take a photo. Outside lighting is the best, especially – well I’ve read – dawn and dusk. Then snap a picture of your sunset and get another great Instagram photo.

Bookstagram Tips

Inspiration

There are tons of great bookstagram peeps, get your ideas from them. I mean don’t copy them exactly – that would be – well I don’t know, it’s not really a copyright issue, but you know you don’t want to make anyone upset. Hashtag #oops

Bookstagram Tips

Camera Skills

With the popularity of the iPhone and other phones that might be out there that are competitive with said iPhone – but I can’t name them, because who doesn’t use an iPhone? Not this girl. Well, use the iPhone to take your images, the resolution on the camera is as good as any fancy camera you can find at fancy camera stores. Then practice how you shoot, mess with angles and how you set up shots. Make it fun. Do things differently.

Bookstagram Tips

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The Most Useless New Year’s Resolutions

We all make them: Useless New Year’s Resolutions. I’m guilty. Lose five pounds by March, join a gym, stop cursing…to name a few. We’re even guilt of making ridiculous ones when it comes to reading and blogging. Here are a few that I think might not be feasible, what do you think?

Five Reasons 2016 Sucked Big Time

There has been no other year that I wanted to see GO more than 2016. There are so many reasons…but these are the top five.

Cover Junk – Holiday Edition

Ready to talk about some covers? Some Apocalypse covers? Yes! I am. I love cover snark editions, it’s the evil in me. But, really – I wish I could make everyone’s covers pretty. If I was a millionaire it would be my philanthropy.  But, sadly, I’m not a millionaire. Today we are dishing it out for the Apocalypse cover variety. All covers were found just perusing the dregs of Amazon. They link back to Amazon, so technically I’m giving them promos. You’re welcome.

Cover Junk – Apocalypse Edition

Cover Junk – Apocalypse Edition

Dishing Junk – The act of dispensing ideas of little value in a casual or silly manner.

Ready to talk about some covers? Some Apocalypse covers? Yes! I am. I love cover snark editions, it’s the evil in me. But, really – I wish I could make everyone’s covers pretty. If I was a millionaire it would be my philanthropy.  But, sadly, I’m not a millionaire. Today we are dishing it out for the Apocalypse cover variety. All covers were found just perusing the dregs of Amazon. They link back to Amazon, so technically I’m giving them promos. You’re welcome.

The thing I noticed about apocalypse novels…a lot of them were really good. But, when they were bad…they were bad. Like this one. I can’t even tell what the title of this book is.

Some covers utilize illustrations. It works for some…it didn’t work for these covers. Is that The Rock Zombie?

I don’t think we need a warning. There is a drought…

The one thing I notice about apocalypse novels…there are a ton of “On The Road” end of the world series. Like this one, which is pretty standard, and not that bad…

This one is on the road…with bad fonts and some weird boxes that aren’t lined up.

On the road in German…with a dog.

On the road with Jesus and maybe a threesome?

Enjoyed this post?

Check out more dishing junk...

The Most Useless New Year’s Resolutions

We all make them: Useless New Year’s Resolutions. I’m guilty. Lose five pounds by March, join a gym, stop cursing…to name a few. We’re even guilt of making ridiculous ones when it comes to reading and blogging. Here are a few that I think might not be feasible, what do you think?

Five Reasons 2016 Sucked Big Time

There has been no other year that I wanted to see GO more than 2016. There are so many reasons…but these are the top five.

Cover Junk – Holiday Edition

Ready to talk about some covers? Some Apocalypse covers? Yes! I am. I love cover snark editions, it’s the evil in me. But, really – I wish I could make everyone’s covers pretty. If I was a millionaire it would be my philanthropy.  But, sadly, I’m not a millionaire. Today we are dishing it out for the Apocalypse cover variety. All covers were found just perusing the dregs of Amazon. They link back to Amazon, so technically I’m giving them promos. You’re welcome.

Things Book Readers Say that Piss Off Non-Readers

Things Book Readers Say that Piss Off Non-Readers

Dishing Junk – The act of dispensing ideas of little value in a casual or silly manner.

So a Reader and a Non-Reader walk into a bar…

The Reader turns to the Non-Reader and doesn’t even bother. Why? They don’t read. They don’t matter.

We love making fun of non-readers. Poor little non-reader, you have no clue. We really piss them off. Or I guess we do. I don’t understand Non-Readers. Here is my interpretation…

Non-Reader: Did you like the movie?

Reader: The book was better. I don’t even know how you figured out any of what was going on just by watching the movie.

Read the Book

Non-Reader: What new shows are you watching this season?

Reader: I read.

Read the Book

Non-Reader: I’m thinking about reading, you know a book. Have any suggestions?

Reader: Do you seriously want to go there?

Read the Book

Non-Reader: I took that classic book challenge on Facebook, I haven’t read any of them!

Reader: I’VE READ THEM ALL!

Read the Book

Non-Reader: I seriously don’t know how you have the time to read that much.

Reader: Who’s the latest Bachelor?

Non-Reader: Nick Viall, can you believe it?

Reader: My point has been made.

Non-Reader: Huh?

Read the Book

Non-Reader: I read Fifty Shades of Grey, did you read that one?

Reader: I don’t have time for this conversation. Books to read!

Read the Book

Enjoyed this post?

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The Most Useless New Year’s Resolutions

We all make them: Useless New Year’s Resolutions. I’m guilty. Lose five pounds by March, join a gym, stop cursing…to name a few. We’re even guilt of making ridiculous ones when it comes to reading and blogging. Here are a few that I think might not be feasible, what do you think?

Five Reasons 2016 Sucked Big Time

There has been no other year that I wanted to see GO more than 2016. There are so many reasons…but these are the top five.

Cover Junk – Holiday Edition

Ready to talk about some covers? Some Apocalypse covers? Yes! I am. I love cover snark editions, it’s the evil in me. But, really – I wish I could make everyone’s covers pretty. If I was a millionaire it would be my philanthropy.  But, sadly, I’m not a millionaire. Today we are dishing it out for the Apocalypse cover variety. All covers were found just perusing the dregs of Amazon. They link back to Amazon, so technically I’m giving them promos. You’re welcome.

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