On the Fourth Day of Book Blogmas
Parajunkee gave to me…
Four Naughty Characters that will be getting coal this year!
The Naughtiest Characters in Literature
#4 Eric Northman
Eric Northman, the bad vampire boy that had millions of Sookie fans screaming in agony over as the series ended…he’s bad, but we love him. He is also the only naughty character on the list that has a few redeeming qualities. We might know he’s getting coal in his stocking but we don’t care!
“I don’t like having feelings…” -Eric Northman”
#3 Amy Dunne
If ever there was a sociopath some of us could relate to, it was Amy Dunne…or not. Amy deserves a little more than just a chunk of coal, she deserves a dip in the river…
“Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.
Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them…”
#2 Jonathan “Black Jack” Randall
Randall shouldn’t just make the naughty list, he should make the “lunatic on the loose” list– while his television depiction was rather tame compared to his book adventures, he was still rather evil. This character should not only get coal, but we should travel back in time and kill him over and over again, just for grins and giggles.
“I am, madam, Jonathan Randall, Esquire, Captain of His Majesty’s Eighth Dragoons. At your service, madam.”
#1 President Snow
I don’t believe Santa will be visiting the Capitol – he’s probably scared of all the pods and traps they have set up. But if he did, he would stay far away from the president’s mansion. The only thing Snow should have in his stocking is a handful of berries.
“The colors are lovely, of course, but nothing says perfection like white.”
Day Four’s Challenge:
Naughty List: book characters on the naughty list.
What are your favorite characters that you KNOW would be on the naughty list?