Dishing Junk – The act of dispensing ideas of little value in a casual or silly manner.

The Ten Worst Dick Synonyms Found in Romance Novels

Dick Synonymns


1.  Rigid Meat Sword

Dagger, Spear, Knife, Sword – a weapon by any other name is meant to maim and pierce, that should not be near any type of fragile girl parts. Especially when paired with rigid and meat.

2. Peter the Impaler

Peter, wiener, Pee-pee (don’t laugh I’ve read it), no one wants to hear a cute little boy’s term for a dick during a sexy scene, especially when paired with an act of execution, like impaling.

3. The Baby Maker

Any term that refers to the creation of life, I understand that is what it does, but no.

4. Dong

What about Ding? And I am not twelve!!!!!

5. Love Injector / Love Muscle

Anything that beings with Love, Meat, Stick, Stalk – no no no no.

Love Muscle

6. Moisture Missile

Again, the girl bits are not a target and the male parts are not the weapon. Ouch!!!!

7. Distended Shaft

Turgid, Straining and Rigid – let us pick a name out of the thesaurus for hard. That just sounds painful.

8. Pulsating Manhood

I have never seen a penis pulsate. I’ll admit it.

9. Meat Popsicle

I think I gagged when I read the Fifty Shades of Grey part where she describes a Grey Flavored Popsicle or some such nonsense. Meat, penis and popsicle is just glurgh!!!

10. Throbbing Member

Is there a club? Do I need a card? Why is it called a member?


What are the silliest or worst names that you have read describing male genitalia?