COVER JUNK – because making fun of bad covers never gets old. Welcome to Dishing Junk –The art of dispensing ideas of little value in a casual or silly manner.
The Creeping by Alexandra Sirowy
Parajunkee: All I can say – they tried? They tried and failed. I can’t get over that white thing in the tree – no not the girl. What is that? Oh that is the text.
Rachel: Creepy is more like. But not in a good way.
Jaime: I kinda like the tree? But the girl in it is no bueno. Also this doesn’t look like a cover from a traditional pub it looks amateurish.
The Haunted Vagina
Parajunkee: I can honestly say – this is an original cover. I have never quite seen anything like it.
Rachel: Still having trouble getting past the title.
Jaime: WTF. OMG No just no!
Parajunkee: I hate to be that critical woman, but this woman’s face looks like she’s kind of – well a man – or is that the point of the book? And he just looks surprised, like we caught them frolicking on the pier. He might have a slight lisp…Or maybe one of them farted?
Rachel: Totally agree with P on this one. The square chin does her (?) in. The series title “Thatch” also led me astray. Even the characters’ names – Ben and Grey – didn’t clue me in. Though the description does say “her” it still is inconclusive. And I thought those were railroad tracks in the distance. Hmmm…
Jaime: Those are some of the strangest eyes I’ve seen! They don’t look natural. Her pupils look white. And he is just not doing it for me.
P: Yea! It looks like she had red eye and they used a quick fix in the camera program…
R: I think they have drops that will fix it….
Going Down in Flames
P: Really this one just aggravates me, because it looks like a rip-off of Sophie Jordan’s FIRELIGHT – oh and the synopsis sounds kind of like FIRELIGHT. At least if you are going to rip something off – do a better job, not a crappier one. Ugh what am I talking about – no on ever copies things better.
R: Sorry can’t get past the fonts. And shouldn’t “in” be lower case?
J: Almost identical to Firelight! Except Firelight’s cover was better and so was the synopsis. I haven’t read this one but I’m figuring Firelight’s story is better too!
The Girl and the Clockwork Cat
P: Again, I understand what they were trying to do here – but at a point, they have to go by the motto – too much is well – too much. Too much photoshop, too much similarities to other steampunk titles…too much weird cat glaring at me with a girl standing over it and she looks like she’s gotta pee…
R: I’ve seen this cover before and it doesn’t get any better the more I look at it. It reads more Cyborg Cat than steampunk. And the least they could do was give the chick a really wicked cool outfit rather than some dirty little-girl tights.
J: That poor kitty is all I keep thinking! And I’m not a fan of the fonts used or the excessive photoshopping. And lol she does look like she’s doing the potty dance.
Stray vs. Feral
P: When 50 people before you did the random girl lost in the woods with the single word title – don’t you think – you might go in a different direction?
R: Blurry girl wandering the woods with similarly titled story does not smack of originality. Will there be a “Wild,” “Devious,” or “Beastly” come next?
J: Sad. I just finished STRAY and I loved the book, but this cover does not do the story justice. At all. It should have been more fairy tale/fantasy and less girl in the woods. And the crown is hard to make out she looks like she just has a pointy head.
And FERAL? I doubt I’d pick that one up. Its a blurry mess and I’m not a fan. The cover says nothing about the story.
R: Wait, that’s a crown? I thought maybe she had spiky horns growing from her head.
P: I thought maybe she screwed up her hair in her flight through the woods…
Vinter Fall erm Winter Falls
P: Heeewooo little owl… you want to come out and play? Oh wait, is that an owl? Oy! It’s a white falcon with widdle hearts all over it’s cut widdle body! I can’t even read the title. Was this a mistake? Maybe they put up the half erased title.
R: Is it a Rorschach test or is that the state of California? Is there a reason the title and author name are so hard to read? Though I have to say it’s quite rare when someone can capture 1, 2 and 3 on a cover: Book ONE of the TWIN willow TRILOGY. Woot, woot! I mean, Hoot, hoot!
J: LOLOLOLOL Rachel! And too much white on white!R: Ya know, “white on white” is a painting technique… maybe that’s what they were going for?
P: THEY COULDN’T EVEN CENTER THE TITLE!!!!!!!!!
R: OMG that drives me crazy too. The title and the graphic being off-center only make me want to photoshop it straight. At least the dude looks like he’s lost something in the blood red wood. The chick just looks like’s posing for the JC Penney catalog.
J: Yeah that non centered title is annoying. I like the bottom half it’s really pretty with all the red and the guy who looks like he may be good looking at least he looks cute at this distance but, the top is a hot mess! Why’s the girl always have to be grabbing her arm like that? It not a natural pose and I cringe every time I see it on a book cover. And are those trees floating on the left? Why are there floating trees???
Psi Another Day
J: UGH this is just so not pretty! The book is paranormal I believe from the blurb which is as ridiculous as the cover. PSI ANOTHER DAY? Not loving the title either but whatevs. But this cover makes it look like a contemporary book. I can’t stand the font and those sunglasses are horrible! This looks like they grabbed a stock image and just slapped a title and the authors name on it. Also I’m so over the covers with half of a face on them.
P: Unfortunately this one just screams those Ally Carter type of novels covers – except this one isn’t as cute as those. It doesn’t tell me anything – but this is a teen novel. I don’t get Psi – or anything. It is a cute play on words Psi another day…but I don’t feel James Bondish or want to buy the novel. Plus the half face thing is not working here, she’s cropped too hard along the glasses, it almost looks like a mistake. Especially since the right is a white bleed.
J: YES Ally Carter! I totally couldn’t think of her name but they totally do look like her books and they’re contemporary. This just doesn’t fit for the paranormal genre it’s supposed to be in.
R: Bad play on the Bond title. Saying it out loud to anyone would be “SIGH another day” which sounds totally lame. Agree, this screams Ally Carter’s books’ uglier, poorly composed cover art. A stock model and bad fonts do not a good cover make. Plus, not to harp on the model, but that kink in her bangs and her yellow/brown teeth bother me. Photoshop is the next Crest Whitestrips for covers.
J: I know I might get a lot of hate about this one but let me explain why I think this one belongs on this list.
This one makes me really sad. I love Jennifer Armentrout and her amazing stories. What ticks me off about this is I have the set of the LUX books except for the last one, and I refuse to buy this because it doesn’t match the others. AT. ALL! They should have finished out the series with the pretty covers (because seriously this is horrible) and then if they wanted to reprint them all with these new ugly ones then do that. I have a huge pet peeve about cover redesign mid-series and this wasn’t even mid-series it was the last flipping book! So I have 4 of the LUX books but will never own the last one because I refuse to put this on my shelves! And I won’t buy the omnibus editions because they have the same ugly covers!
P: They are running out of stock images of the guy on the pretty covers – the problem with stock and not “thinking out” the entire series as a whole – instead of doing it cover by cover. But what do I know? *snicker* I actually thought that this was from a different series.
R: I loved the original covers. Well, the second original covers. Though I kind of liked the first original covers. These are just bizarre. And he looks very sickly in this one. I want to give him vitamins and chicken noodle soup and tuck him into bed. The coloring, at least in jpg, of the backgrounds and the fonts doesn’t work either. And the split-faced covers with the girl are even worse. They don’t line up. The tone isn’t the same. And it just reminds me of this: IMAGE much like the mid-series redo of a certain other series I shall not name.
Rachel, whom you might know as Parajunkee, is the blog owner of parajunkee.com and the design blog parajunkee.net. To make matters even more confusing she is now a published author under the pen name of Gillian Zane. Rachel has been blogging for over eight years, designing / web programming for over fifteen, but her real love, reading, has been her favorite hobby since childhood. Rachel has won numerous awards for her writing, the blogs she has created and her design work. If you want to check out more about her books click "The Books" on the navigation bar at the top of the page.
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