You Say Snarknado – I say STFU! Cheesy Tropes, Eye-Roll Inspiring Actions, Words & Phrases that you just wish would stop being used in novels.
- Villainous Monologue – let me tell you all about my evil plan before the protag is even secured in defeat.
- Blackmail FTW! – “If you don’t do my bidding,” says the evil antagonist, “I shall kill everyone you love, don’t worry about how I shall kill them, but I shall!”
- “Little One” – The Paranormal Romance term of endearment used by a paranormal alpha to describe his human lover
- The Scorned Lover – This broad will do ANYTHING to get her man, she’s insane, she’s hot and she is determined to get the protag’s love interest
- Secrets for the Sake of Secrets – From the family that refuses to tell the young adult character about their “past” to the lovers that will not confess their deep dark secrets “just because”
- Sparkly Stalkers – “You like to watch me sleep? Even before I gave you permission to enter my house. Swoon. No not really.
- Pretty Girls Have More Fun – Pretty will make everything better. The moment the YA character gets their “powers” they wish themselves pretty and then their life is AWESOME!
- The 30 Year Old Virgin – The only 30 year old virgin I know is really fucked up. I mean she lives alone and the only things she posts on Facebook is pictures of her cats and what she is eating. She can’t keep a job, is on about five dating sites, but refuses to meet any of the men that show interest and likes to collect postcards from places she will “one day” go to, that she purchases from Etsy. Thirty year old virgins are a figment of the imagination and those Romance novels should be labeled Fantasy Fiction. Not contemporary.
- The Biggest Penis the Heroine Has Ever Seen that is so huge it’s the size of a baby arm, but it fits like a glove – because she was like made for him.
- I will die for you. Even though I’m a secondary character that you’ve never really appreciated, but you are better then me because you are the main character. And someone has to die.
- Heeeeey! The gay best friend that is too gay to function and the only reason for their existence is so they can make us all giggle and reaffirm that we are non-judgmental and progressive readers. He’s like that minority person that I was friends with in high school. You know that girl – what was her name? But, she was African American I swear…or was she Hispanic?
- Speaking of Minorities – I do believe the only reason the author added a person of color to this particular story was for the sake of having a person of color – and then they are ridiculously stereotypical person’s of minority existence… they say things like ¡Dios Mío!” or “Homie” at weird times during the story and they usually do nothing to further the plot to be a person of minority origination.
- The Orgasmic Kiss. If this actually exists, I will be very jealous.
- It’s Only a Flesh Wound. The hero has a few broken ribs, a mild concussion, hasn’t slept in 48 hours, probably dehydrated, a mild case of the stomach flu, is pregnant in a weird case of male pregnancy, has a hang-nail and is still ready to “get it on” with the heroine.
- Fated Mates! You are mine!!!! Mine! Mine! – Okay.
You got any you want to share??