Statements that people make to readers, that will help a Book Nerd spot the enemy.

  1. I don’t have to read the book, they have a movie.
  2. That book looks kind of thick.
  3. I read. I read the internet.
  4. All these books *gestures at your bookshelf* could all just be one big book about the same thing. Like an anthology or something. Don’t you want to read real books?
  5. eBooks don’t count.
  6. Audiobooks don’t count.
  7. Oh I haven’t read any of these books on my bookshelf, I bought them after I read an article on books I have to read before I die. I have time.
  8. We have a local library?
  9. I bring my kid to the library for the crafts and we rent videos. You can rent them for Free!
  10. I only read award winning literature.
  11. I don’t have to read Harry Potter, I already know that he hooks up with the redhead and Dumbledore dies.
  12. Who brings a book on vacation?
  13. So what should I read next? I just started reading again, have you heard of Fifty Shades of Grey?
  14. I go to Barnes and Noble for the Starbucks.
  15. I don’t even know how you read so much, who has that much time. I like to work out.
  16. I misplaced the book you lent me.
  17. How is my kid supposed to read this much? There are like 10 books on this summer reading list!
  18. Are you reading?
  19. I can’t read, I don’t like to sit still for that long.
  20. Romance isn’t literature.