YESALLWOMEN

So it may seem strange for me to start off with #YesAllWomen since this is a post about things that are awesome. Though the content of #YesAllWoman is not necessarily awesome, the hashtag and it’s impact are awesome.  It’s amazing how many women have opened up to the world about their experiences.  Truly, we are not alone.

I was surprised to find that I could relate to so many tweets. I found myself saying, “That’s happened to me.”  I’ve never thought about my experiences as being directly related to me being a woman.  I guess I was wrong.

Here are the Top Ten #YesAllWoman tweets that I found I could relate to.  Can you relate? Have you been there?

1. “I’ve got a boyfriend.”  How many times have you used this line to get a guy to leave you alone? Why does it feel safer to make this claim than to just say, “Not interested”?  I can remember telling a guy that I had a boyfriend and he replied, “Well, you’re not married.” Wow…

 

2. “It’s just her boyfriend, husband, partner…”   I once gave my college students a scenario where a woman was being attacked by a man.  One student said he’d intervene.  I changed the scenario by adding: the woman said, “I never should have married you.”  The same student said he wouldn’t get involved because they were married.  No amount of debating would get him to change his mind. Why does it matter that a woman knows her attacker?

 

3. “Wait, let me get my keys out.”   This is one of those scenarios that I never really thought of as an issue specifically for woman. I guess I thought that men get their keys ready before they head to their car.  I have always done this.  I even lock my doors immediately once I get into my car.  Do you do this? Is it a “woman” thing or an “everybody” thing?

 

4. “You could use a good ______”   I have actually had this happen to me when I was 17.  I was with a group of friends and we stopped by this guy’s house.  The guy said something to me and I had a sarcastic response.  He then replied, “I could rape you.”  Who does that? I mean really.  You can’t beat me in a war of words so you threaten rape?

 

5. “It’s been three years since you broke up and he’s still calling, stopping by, talking to your friends, etc.”  I had one of these.  We broke up and seven years later he was still calling my parent’s house.  Do you have an ex-boyfriend turned stalker?

 

6. “Would you talk like that, do that, let them, if that was your sister?”  I have been guilty of making this statement.  Why do we have to remind some men of the women in their family for them to respect all women?  Do we not have intrinsic value as people?

 

7. “Text me when you get home.”  I have done this so many times.  I look after my friends and if one of us has to leave the group, I feel the need to have her text/tweet that she’s safe in her destination.  Do men do this?  Would I ask a guy to text me to make sure he got home safe?

 

8. “Preach, Maya!” (RIP) This quote alone validates the importance of #YesAllWoman.  I realize it’s a hashtag on social media but how else could women across the globe unite on such an important issue?  Sometimes it helps just to know that you aren’t alone in your experience.

 

9.  “Why doesn’t she just leave him?”  This tweet sort of shamed me.  I have said this many times when I have seen reports on abused women.  I’m pretty strong-willed and independent so I tend to think “Leave his @$$.”  When I should be thinking, he needs to stop, get counseling, and cherish her.

 

10. “OK! We get it!”  I thought this tweet was perfect to end the list.  If you think that #YesAllWoman is a whole bunch of the same thing over and over, then maybe you should be horrified or moved to action rather than dismissal.  These are real women having these real experiences.


What do you think about the #YesAllWoman hashtag? Where do we go from here?

geeky