Even Bloggers Feel Insecure
Yesterday my fellow Junkee blogger gave tips to Indie Authors about Building Confidence as an author. And the post kind of hit home. I’m generally a confident person, I don’t know how I did it, good parents, I guess, but I was not one to have low self-esteem as a teen or any problems with lack of confidence. But, as an adult, I’ve actually come to realize that some of my actions that are “questionable” are usually a result of lack of confidence. Like after I have a big fight with my husband and I later ask myself, “why were you so mad?” Chances are, it has to do with feeling insecure in the relationship, which is just silly, or so I hope (says the insecure wife). Relationships, jobs and hobbies can all breed insecurities. Your kid isn’t getting As or getting the awards that your besties’ kid is getting. Is it something you are doing? Life issues. Insecurities are in everything we do. And they can be spin around us, eating away at us when it comes to our blog…
Insecurities can pop up at any moment in blogging:
- NetGalley/Publisher rejection
- Not getting invited to a publisher party during a con
- Not getting on a Blog Tour
- Not getting as many pageviews as your Bestie Blogger or another boastful blogger that you follow
- Not getting sent a certain Hot Book
- Not getting asked to participate in a blogger event
- Getting ignored via a social network interaction…
Do I have to go on naming insecurities?
Let’s stop putting names to the negative and focus on positive changes that can make us confident in our blogging career and in our blogs.
- Keep it Clean. Psychologists always recommend “taking care of yourself” as a tip to building self-esteem. Take pride in your appearance. Shower regularly, that sort of thing. This can also be applied to your blog. Just make sure nothing is out of place. You don’t need to have the best design in the blogging niche, just make sure nothing is wonky. If you love your blog look, others will too.
- Stay Up to Date. Grab a book on Blogger or WordPress and read it! By understanding your platform you’ve increased your confidence by leaps and bounds right there. You don’t have to know how to code HTML – but you might want to learn about plugins or how to create a blockquote in your post.
- You are Not Perfect. You don’t have to have the best review or post ever. You just have to make it good and something people want to read. You can also make mistakes here and there. It happens to all of us. In fact the best way to learn is by failing.
- Keep a List. Record your goals and the goals you’ve met. Call it your “You Go Girl” list or something else positive. Read it when you are feeling stressed.
- Walk-Away. Have you been on the computer for a few hours fighting with a certain post, or blog related problem? Walk away. Grab an ice cream, do some exercises. But don’t fixate on it. You might solve it easier when you come back. Stress levels are terrible for confidence.
- Get Out of the Box. Just because someone like me does things a certain way and it works for me, doesn’t mean it will work for you. If you are feeling hedged in by doing things a certain way, break away from it and do it how it works for you. Who knows you could start a new trend. You don’t have to do things a certain way. It is your blog.
- Rock Out. Turn the music up, or shove the earphones in your ears while you are writing your post. Put on spirited, positive music and you might get a better post out of it!
- Ignore. Ignore the stupids. You know who I’m talking about, right? The ones that tell you that “this is wrong” or “you are doing things wrong.” The ones that titter behind their hands when you say that you get 100 pageviews a day and are damn proud of that. Those stupids might only be whispered comments from your inner monologue – but they are always there. You have to ignore them. It’s damn hard, but you can’t obsess about it. Especially if it is coming from within you. Drown out those voices with power statements “I rock. My blog rocks. One day I’m going to take over the world! Just maybe not today.”
- Know the Negative. Most of the time, blocks, blogger slumps and general feelings of unease come from OUTSIDE of the blogging world. Maybe you are fighting with your spouse. Your kid has been acting up, or your new boss is a douche. Know that there is really no avoiding that and either try and fix the outside influences or a make a conscious effort to leave that stuff “outside” of your fun hobby.
- Take chances. Stop hiding behind your blog. Take chances, do something different. Get out there. Reach out to authors you might not have normally reached out to, or other bloggers. Rejection isn’t a bad thing, it is practice for the BIG ACCEPTANCE.
- Be Kind. Reach out to others and give them encouraging, helpful comments. Check out other people’s blogs and say – “I really like this about your blog…” etc. It might help you realize the good things about your own blog and it will also foster a good community around you.
- Laugh it up. Did something just happen that is making you feel bad? Go on youtube.com and watch a funny video – or your favorite comedy. Just don’t wallow. Laugh.
- Know what matters. “Opinions are like _____.” We all know the quote and everyone has a right to their opinion, just sometimes those opinions can be counter-intuitive to your confidence. Just remember whose opinions really matter to you. Who do you trust to take their advice to heart? It isn’t that big ass blogger who thinks she knows it all, is it? No – it’s your close family and friends. They are what matters and if they say you are a good person with an awesome blog – well you need to believe them.
I want to know about your “GO BLOGGER GIRL/BOY” moments. Let me know in the comments about specific things you are proud and confident about via blogging. And it can literally be – I did it. I finally started my blog! That is an achievement!