Hello dear readers, Wicked is back and I’m here to discuss a buzz topic that seems to have infiltrated our society. Bullying. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of this word. I’m tired of everyone and their grandma screaming that they are being bullied to justify their bad retaliatory behavior. And half the time they aren’t even being technically bullied, they are just the victim of a bit of mean-spirited behavior. Or the recipient of a bad opinion directed at them.
Half the time, when someone gives their case on how they were bullied, I just want to say, “Oh please, stop being sensitive, pull up your big girl panties and move the f*&k on. Bye bye now.”
Want to say, hell, I’ve said it to a number of people and I usually get the response that I’m a bully myself. So be it. I call it aggressive, or opinionated. Because I know what an actual bully looks like. I know how they behave and I know what it means to be targeted by a bully. But, wait, I’m an adult – so I can’t even say a bully – bully is a child term, I’ve been targeted by an Abusive Criminal. Because adult bullies are criminals. Calling me a bully when I state my opinion, because I might be a bit aggressive in my manner of dress, speak and carriage – well that is another person trying to bring me to heel. Trying to put my actions in check. Behave. Sit still. Good girls don’t say bad things. Good girls don’t curse, good girls don’t use sarcasm. Sarcasm is just a tool to hide your pain. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Sit down. Shut up. Behave. Be politically correct. Give everyone an award. A for effort! You did a good job, just by showing up!
Don’t think all of this is related? Think again. Because by overusing the word, Bully, diminishes it. If we make people over sensitive about these things. People get TIRED of the word. They start seeing these cases, “OMG I was bullied!” And they realize that it is just this person being dramatic, grasping at attention. And then the next person that cries “bully” they don’t pay attention to them and this lets the BULLY win. The bully wins when everyone and their grandma is called a bully, which forces the “good people” to be quiet. The good people are afraid of being labeled a bully. Not the bully, not the criminal. The bully likes to be a bully.
But, you. You Naughty Girl, don’t want to be a bully. You just want to be a little naughty, but are afraid if your naughty gets called out, you’ll be labeled a bully and targeted. I can’t stop this. I can’t stop the judgmental asshats, or the overly-sensitive cry babies. No matter how much logic you throw at these people, they always talk in circles with the usual sanctimonious, nonsensical gibberish. There will always be those type of people out there. The point is to not let that sanctimonious dribble defeat you. And the way you do this, is by knowing what they are trying to define you with. By knowing, you’ll realize that there is no reason to be ashamed of your behavior. Don’t sit down. Don’t shut-up. Stand up. State your opinion and be proud of it.
Here are some facts, I will call them The Naughty Girl’s Guide to Bullying, Stalking and Harassment…
- Most Bullying sites, like the US’ www.stopbullying.gov
always define bullying as an act between children, teens and preteens. So, right there the definition is defunct when it applies to adults engaged in this sort of behavior. Once two adults are involved in bad behavior of this nature it is considered, stalking or harassment.
- Most people that cry “bully” in our niche environment do this because they don’t have any proof of stalking or harassment. They consider being bullied a “diminished act”, below stalking or harassment, like a stepping-stone to actual criminal behavior. But, bullying should be paired with terms like harassment and stalking – because it is the same. Someone that is repeatedly bullied, is stalked – is harassed. They just coin the term bully because it is from one child to another, and to call a child a Stalker or a Tormentor might be a little too “much.” Hence, the cute term “bully.”
- Harassment or cyberharassment in our environment, is the repeated receipt of threatening emails, instant messages or blog entries directed at the person, with the sole intention of torment, torture or malicious intent, basically psychological torment.
- Cyberstalking is the same concept of Stalking, just digitally. A stalker is someone that behaves within an obsessive pattern, repeated bad and inappropriate behavior. All meant to torment and torture an individual. It is dangerous and malicious behavior and it is criminal.
Are we noticing a pattern here? Repeated, obsessive, malicious behavior, with the intention of harm, threat, injury and torture.
- Stating your opinion about someone or their book, while it might be mean, is not bullying or cyberharrasment. It is an opinion.
- Giving an author a bad review, even if you use derogatory statements or phrases is NOT cyberharssment
- Marking an author “will-not-read” on your shelf is NOT cyberharassment
- Tweeting an author with a bad review is not cyberharassment
- Writing a blog post “hating” on a particular subject, person, action or product is not cyberharassment
- Engaging in a twitter discussion where your opinion differs from another, even if bad language is used is not cyberharassment
- Blocking someone from your blog, Facebook, twitter account is not cyberharassment
- Discussing with others the reason you didn’t like a book is not cyberharassment
- Discussing with others why you have blocked someone on twitter or Facebook etc is not cyberharassment
- Getting a group of twitter users together to insult one user repeatedly is cyberharassment
- Sending an author repeated emails stating “you suck and I hope you get carpal tunnel so you can’t write another word” is cyberharassment
- Commenting repeatedly on a person’s blog with derogatory statements directed at that person, with the intention to torment them is cyberharassment
- Tweeting someone repeatedly with threats, derogatory statements, or just statements meant to torment the individual is cyberharassment
- Reading a blog post about a badly behaving author and then going to Amazon, Goodreads, Booklikes and your own blog, marking ALL of their books as 1 stars, placing them on shelves with defamatory titles, even though you have not read a single one of their books and you do this repeatedly is considered cyberharassment. These are targeted attacks and are organized both by authors and bloggers and no good ever comes out of them. Their intention is harm. The goal is vengeance. The term is harassment, no matter what the author or person’s crime.
- Trying to expose a blogger or anonymous author to their “real world” life, with threats of exposure is considered cyberstalkin. If harm may come to this blogger or anonymous author by revealing their identity. For example, a female that writes erotic romance, that happens to be a preschool teacher. Writing erotic literature does not make one a deviant – but school officials and parents might disagree. This is intention of harm and a bit of research and “stalking” would have been required to discover this information.
I could go on and on. But the gist of this bit of knowledge is simple. If the intention is to harm the person and the user repeatedly tries to cause harm to that person on a cyber level – that is consider cyberharassment and there are a ton of new laws in effect. If you don’t intend to harm this person, if you are just stating a conflicting idea, opinion or belief, you are standing up for what you believe in. Their reaction to your statement or stance is not your problem and they shouldn’t make it your problem.