13

What is the Book Blogger New Yearโ€™s Challenge you might ask? Find out more here.

{Day 13} Share a Blogger Horror Story

 

A Blogging Horror Story
by Parajunkee

I hate the new buzz word “bully” that has been saturating our global consciousness in the last couple of years. I know, like any of these issues, it is an actual issue, that needs awareness. But like everything else people start throwing it around like their dirty underwear and suddenly everyone is claiming “bullying.” Then suddenly the issue becomes degraded, because now NFL players are being bullied and mocked, taking the focus off of people that are really in need of a focus. People that need to be helped and because it’s so “norm”, we blow it off…

So, when I see the word bullying being touted by bloggers or authors, saying another blogger has bullied them it really gets under my skin. Because it’s called a difference of opinion…not bullying. And of course it really aggravates me when I’m the one accused of bullying. Just because I stated my opinion.

NO ONE SHOULD BE AFRAID OF STATING THEIR OPINION.

That is not bullying.

A bad review is not bullying.

An op-ed piece is not bullying.

Stating that I’m a Libertarian is not bullying Republicans or Democrats.

Writing a post about blogger etiquette is not bullying.

To bully someone is a relentless attack. It is aggressive behavior, defined on stopbullying.gov as “among school aged children.” It is aggressive, repeated actions that are designed to control the victim or bring harm to them. Bullying usually involves name calling, taunts, threats and belittling. It is not defined as one girl, writing a blog post, stating her opinion in a strong and concise matter. But, because my opinion differed from a certain group of people, I became a bully in a certain group of people’s minds. So, because I was labeled a bully from my post these people began to email me with threats. Then they tweeted me and told me how terrible I was. Then when I blocked them, they went on to tell everyone that would listen how I was a bully blogger. And I was “hiding” and “scared” because I wasn’t responding to their taunts. Luckily it ended quickly, I think the hypocrisy of the situation became evident to everyone around them. But, it really stayed with me and turned me off from blogging and twitter for a long time. Why would I want to put myself out there again and maybe get this awful reaction again? Dare I say it, I felt bullied myself. But, no – while there were threats and belittling, as an adult, with a pretty average self-confidence level, I recognized these people for what they were. Drama chasers. They wanted attention so desperately, they decided to get it by causing a situation at my expense.

There was a light spot in this story, though! Some people I didn’t even know came to my defense and I could have kissed them. One of which hadn’t even read my piece, or knew about my blog. She just stood up because these people were acting so ridiculous. It made me feel so good in this very dark situation. I have tried from then on, if I see behavior like this to intervene and it happens, too much in my opinion. I’ve witnessed grown women do this to a young teen that was unaware of “the norm” in blogging protocol. Bloggers flaying authors because one person cries foul – even though they don’t back it up. And cliquish bloggers ganging up one person because they stated their opinion…and because of this I’ve gotten a bit a backlash from some groups.

Hope your story is not as grumpy as mine!