Dishing Junk – The act of dispensing ideas of little value in a casual or silly manner.

Why  Should We Ban Certain Books?

It is a MAD MAD world out there. Why muck up the madness with extra subversive and inflammatory literature taught to your child?! Here are the reasons we should ALL take a stand and JUST SAY NO to controversial books in the schools and libraries – and EVEN on Amazon! These books are full of bad language, violence, rape — nothing more then pornography! Some even feature underage children having the S-E-X. We can’t let this get into the hands of our children. I can’t even read this stuff myself! Take a stand. Ban some books! You’ll feel in charge of your life, once again!

1. Child-care – It is very hard to try and read everything your child brings home. It is even harder to read it before your child reads it themselves and then pass judgement on it. By having a group of people ban these books before the children get them we can be assured that only good literature gets to our children. The government or nanny-groups know what is best for our children. They provide everything else for us, why not provide us with the “right” literature. Plus, it saves time.

2. Future-proofing – You don’t want your child to get ideas that aren’t in-line with your own ideas, so banning certain controversial ideas in literature are a great thing. If they don’t know anything about loving homosexual relationships, then they can’t explore those types of relationships, correct?

3. Language, dear! – Your children are sensitive and they pick up on things so easy. A book full of foal language, like say the “N” word in THE ADVENTURES OF HUCKLEBERRY FINN will give them proclivities to use such words in their everyday life. If they aren’t exposed to them in literature they will never use such language in real life. To maintain proper etiquette and speech we must unite to eradicate such books with this type of language.

4. Abortion prevention – Some of these books will actually look at promiscuity as a positive thing. Women have sex outside of marriage with multiple partners! We can’t let the youth of our great country read that you can actually have sex without getting pregnant, or an STD or having the guy demean you right after! These books have to go.

5. Keep them sheltered – It’s a hard world out there, but even though it is, I don’t want my child exposed to the truths about the world too quickly. They shouldn’t read about things like rape, or murder, or having to shop at the dollar store for clothes. Such things just aren’t appropriate for teens to read, especially in a classroom setting.

6. Un-American – A lot of these books that should be banned have very unAmerican connotations, anarchists teachings and crazy ideas like the effects of “climate change” and the proper use of assault weapons. And we wonder why these crazies keep shooting up schools! Video Games aren’t the only reason!!

7. Show some respect! – Finally, the last reason is that most books that should be banned lack the proper respect and authoritative tone that should be afforded to adults. It is hard to keep our children focused and in-line without have subversive literature to undermine all of our teaching. Some literature can make our children think about the “wrong” things, make them question what we ourselves have taught them, making them think for themselves about what is right and wrong, instead of going by our strict guidelines.

Rachel Rivera

 

Dishing Junk is a satire feature and should not be taken seriously, or at least on first inspection.