Dishing Junk – The act of dispensing ideas of little value in a casual or silly manner.
The Care & Feeding of Book Bloggers
In my time on the internet I have become close to many humanoids that fall under the title of Book Blogger, in fact, I myself might be considered a Book Blogger at certain points in my day. Well the majority of time. Since I have come to transition into this lifestyle I have notice that we need a few things to be competent and happy. Here are a few tips to make your Book Blogger a happy well-rounded humanoid.
- If you see them reading. Do not speak to them.
- If you see them on the computer typing. Do not talk to them, unless it is a program called Twitter. Then you might want to poke them a bit and tell them to stop screwing around.
- If they start to look droopy, or stressed, put a book in their hand.
- If they have not moved from a certain position for a few hours because they are reading, maybe set a plate of cookies next to them…fresh baked usually has the best aroma and might break them out of their reading coma.
- If you notice they are crying, or moaning, or doing something else strangely emotional while they are reading, hand them a tissue and say “don’t worry, I’m sure the author believes in Happily Ever Afters.” That should do in a pinch. If they look at you stupidly (it might be a tragedy ) hand them a cookie.
- If you find yourself on the internet, stop on over to their online home and leave a comment. Nothing brightens a book blogger’s day more then a meaningful comment!
- On any given holiday gift cards to book retailers will do wonders.
- When they are telling you a story and they talk of someone you don’t know, like they are family, or their best friend, just assume it is someone from a book. Do not call a doctor, this is perfectly normal behavior.
- Do not ever try to take a book away from a Book Blogger, there might be dire repercussions.
- If you see a large pile of packages on the doorstep and your book blogger dancing around them happily, do not be disturbed, again this is normal behavior. If you want to make them happy, dance around the packages with them, it will make them feel like you “get” them.
- On the other hand, if there have not been any packages this week and you see your Book Blogger begin to get depressed and act erratically. Go to the bookstore immediately. Buy a random book, put it in a package and pretend you are the UPS guy.
- If you have see that your Book Blogger hasn’t bathed or eaten in a long time. If they will not leave the computer, even when tempted with cookies. Fake an electrical outage. A Book Blogger has to smell their best and not eating isn’t good for anyone!
- Finally, if you are looking for an in, into your Book Blogger’s heart, maybe pick up a book they just finished and read it yourself. The reason your Book Blogger is online so much is to talk to people that have read that same book. Maybe if you read the book, you would have something to talk about.