Dishing Junk – The act of dispensing ideas of little value in a casual or silly manner.

And now I offer you a Free Short, yet probably bad, story.

The Sock Puppet’s Revenge

Once upon a time, there was an author named Miley Ranchero who decided it was awesome to publish a book about hobbits. Not the “real” hobbits that were in that book called LORD OF THE RINGS, but hobbits from the minds of her people’s past, with small feet instead of big feet and who liked to only eat one lunch. Inspired of course, by real hobbits, but having nothing to do with the book or copyrights or anything like that.

The problem was, Miley’s book wasn’t selling, so she trolled the author forums until she found an idea that she could do. She was unemployed, didn’t have a husband or children and spent most of her day online — so creating a sock puppet account to promote her book was easy to do and free. She needed a number one fan (besides herself) and what better way to get a number one fan? Create one, just like she created her book.

Her number one fan was named Kirsten Birdswallow, it sounded very authentic right? She created a gmail account, found a hot picture online (someone she would have died to look like!), created a blog, a twitter account and even got on Goodreads. She began blogging and chatting and commenting. She knew she had to build up a little bit of steam before she started promoting her own book, so she just acted like an awesome blogger chick, reading books (which she did already), talking about writing (which she did already) and just being nice. But, not from an author’s POV, but a bloggers. It worked like a charm.

Kirsten had so many more followers then Miley did, she had friends on twitter, she had awesome forum chats on Goodreads! Kirsten was popular, she was hot, she was just straight up, amazing. People knew her blog’s name, authors were contacting her…at the last writing conference she went to, someone mentioned her blog! But, of course she couldn’t come out and say that it was hers, but she wished desperately that she could. It was actually better to be Kirsten then it was to be Miley.

These were terrible thoughts to think in her head, because thoughts have power, even terrible thoughts and with the momentum of the internet and global consciousness things that shouldn’t be, things that are real digitally, but not real substantially suddenly become confused. The line between real and generated get closer and closer and things become mixed up (there is a really good scientific explanation for this, but that would require research). Miley’s thoughts, mixed with the energy of the internet and that stirred something into being that shouldn’t have existed.

The doorbell rings, just as Miley is getting off her computer and when she answers the door, Kirsten is standing in front of her. At first, Miley believes that it is the girl that posed for the picture that she took/stole. maybe she found her some way and wants her to remove her image…but then she speaks.

“Hey, Miley, it’s me…Kirsten.” The sock puppet pushes past Miley, closing the door behind her. “Surprise.”

“How?” Miley manages to croak out in her shock.

“Who knows, but the thing is, this sock puppet wants to become a  real girl — and laws of the Universe say that only one of us can exist. Sorry, Miley, thanks for creating me — but you even think that I’m the better person.”

And so, Miley’s number one fan, became suspect #1 in her murder, well she would have…if they ever found her body.

Rachel Rivera