Fifty Shades Read AlongYou might think you are old enough, but if you haven’t reach the ripe age of 18, I strong advise you to move along…

We are now entering Fifty Shades of Grey Chapter 18

What’s up doc? Obviously it’s Ana’s vagina that is up and being explored by what she describes as “another Stepford blonde”…the joys of home doctoring.

The doc even reveals that Christian went above and beyond in payment of the good doc. But the only thing I could think of in this scene was “Isn’t it illegal to do this in your home? Aren’t you supposed to have another person present while getting an exam so the doc doesn’t do something skeevy?” As you can tell I’m really focused on what is going on.

But the exam does lead to a little joking behavior between Christian and Ana, which shows there immature side. Veritable “gotchas” of the teen variety. It was cute, but seemed out of character. Then of course they move on to some arias from Bochianas Brasileiras. That is to show their cultured side.

Then to more talk of the BDSM variety, to of course, show their naughty side:

“Are you going to hit me?”

“Yes, but it won’t be to hurt you. I don’t want to punish you right now. If you’d caught me yesterday evening, well, that would have been a different story.”

Holy cow. He wants to hurt me … how do I deal with this? I can’t hide the horror on my face.

Which of course leads to more inner goddess antics *my inner goddess is rolling her eyes*

My inner goddess is spinning like a world-class ballerina, pirouette after pirouette.

Christian takes her into his playroom, which leads to Ana’s introduction into actually planned light BDSM activity and what he expects of her. Enter the room with hair braided and only in underwear. Kneel at a certain spot. Always “sir” etc.

And guess what? He bought her a riding crop just like she dreamed about…isn’t he thoughtful?

Then he spanks her and they have sex for a long time until she practically passes out on him. The man obviously has stamina, he must take the same vitamins as Sting or something. But, even after marathon sex, he still continues to order her around and then ties her up and then…well they don’t talk about their feelings.

But, of course, like the screwed up Prince Charming that he is, after he ties her up and takes advantage of her…he carries her out and places her in “her own room” and leaves her with…

“Sleep now, gorgeous girl,” he whispers, and he kisses my hair.

And before I can make a facetious* comment, I’m asleep.

*facetious – word of the chapter. I was reaching on this one — there weren’t a lot in this chapter. It basically means flippant. When ever I read it — for some reason my mind says Fascist — which would be bizarre, but it is pronounced with a long SEEEES.

This chapter basically was pivotal in the fact they actually had a BDSM session, but of course, Ana has still not SIGNED that damn contract. So, she is pulling in one direction because she wants love and she is kind of winning, because  Christian is breaking all his rules. He does get a bit of slap and tickle though, so I guess they are both coming out on top via these few scenes.

I’m still not won over with this book, there seems to be no progression in these chapters. The book is over halfway through and by this point in a romance everyone would be loving all over each other — and maybe breaking up so they could realize they love each other. But, the only thing that has been achieved is Ana has dropped in my estimation a bit more…


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