Fifty Shades Read AlongHi there teenagers, well you young folks under the age of 18. I love you guys and feel free to search Young Adult in the search tab over there >> But really this book is not for you. Your mom, maybe, but not you. Maybe your mom might give it to you if she thinks that you are mature enough. But, I don’t want to be blamed for any indiscretion so again, maybe it’s time for you to click away. Because along with this book being really really naughty, I’ve also allowed myself to include pictures and commentary that is also rather naughty and again I don’t want to be blamed for your corruption.

Fifty Shades of Grey Chapter Eleven

Hello contract! Yeah like I read all that crap…legal text makes my brain turn to mush. I figure the Submissive must do whatever the fuck the Dominant says. And dress cute/slutty/in costume whenever the Dominant says it and eat whatever he wants her to eat and exercise and go to the potty at this time…blah blah blah.

Ok I read part of it. But, most of it was stuff that Christian and Ana had spoken about. The Obedience, the sleeping, the eating and the fact that she has to wear clothes he chooses for her. Then on top of that he gets to choose her personal trainer, the beauty salon she will go to…those type of things.

Failure to comply with any of the above will result in immediate punishment, the nature of which shall be determined by the Dominant.

Ooh spank me!!! Please? Ok sorry.

Then it goes over Hard Limits and Soft Limits.

Hard Limits, are limits that are unchangeable, they will never be crossed…real fun stuff like urination and defecation, medical instruments, piercings, auto-erotic asphyxiation…electrical, fire etc. Yeah, some really kinky stuff, but this is stuff Christian will not do. Fun to see he has limits.

Soft Limits can be pushed around and changed and set by either party, it’s something they will agree on along the way and can actually be moved around as the game changes.

My First Nipple Clamps via Christian GreyAgain interesting things like Vaginal & Anal fisting (yes! Sign me up for that *sarcasm font*) right be the consent to use a few toys, then what type of bondage the submissive consents to, rope, leather cuffs, shackles etc. Then restraint, blindfolding, gagging, spanking, whipping, genital clamps (whoah!), paddling, caning, nipple clamps and —- ICE (stop the press people).

That about sums up the contract. How does our very eloquent heroine sum it up?

Holy fuck.

And then begins the inner Ana debate of whether she wants to participate in this very interesting relationship she has gotten herself into.

Oh, I wish I’d never met him. My inner goddess shakes her head at me. She and I know it’s a lie. I have never felt as alive as I do now.

Emails from Christian Grey

If you are curious…

The next morning Ana awakes to find the next extravagant Christian gift waiting for her and I’m jealous, because it’s a MacBook Pro. *Drool*

But, really it is just another way for Christian to control her and keep in touch with her, via email. And this begins the email narrative of the book. It’s quite extensive…and I think it’s cute how they go back and forth…but there are a lot of emails. It is given to her as a pretense for her to research the BDSM lifestyle and to be able to ask him any questions privately. Ana rather resents the computer and again thinks it’s extravagant and should only be loaned to her. Me I would have been like “Thanks! Later!” 😉

The emails shows another side of Christian, what Ana terms his playful side. And they are the clincher for her I think. With a playful man comes someone that can joke with her, laughter can be tantamount to love in the fact that it evokes the same positive responses in people. Happiness. And that is all that Ana is really looking for. She is this naive little girl, searching for someone she can trust and love. She’s never even come close to desiring someone and this man comes into her life. When he is stoic and dominant he scares her, but when he jokes with her or shows kindness he is approachable and lovable. There are always different sides of people, the good side and the bad side and Ana just hopes that his good side shows a lot more than his bad side…or at least that is what I’m getting out of the book so far.

Gah! Jose shows up again for coffee at Ana’s work and she acts like nothing. Oh no, he didn’t just accuse you of getting with Christian for his money in the last phone call you had. Dick weed, I would kick him in his whiny balls instead of going to coffee. But, I’m not a pleasant person. Ana seems to be a pleasant person.

But, really — she describes him with another happy SAT word:

He comes bounding into the show like a gamboling dark-eyed puppy.

The only thing that comes out of that coffee is that Ana forgives Jose and of course leads him on some more.

Work ends, Ana goes home and of course there are more emails from Christian. They again are very playful. He urges her to do a lot of research…starting with Wikipedia. Which I’m assuming is where Mrs. James got all her information from.

I type “Submissive” into Wikipedia.
Half an hour later, I feel slight {book error not mine} queasy and frankly shocked to my core. Do I really want this stuff in my head? Jeez-is this what he gets up to in the Red Room of Pain?

Yes, yes Anastasia — it’s going to be more than in your head in a bit. 😉

On to Chapter 12 of Fifty Shades of Grey

The exercise bit must have gotten to her, because Ana goes for a run. Something she’s never done before. Ok — sure, let’s go for a run. Hmmm.

Through the run she decides she does want him, but she just doesn’t want THAT much and thinks she can put more terms on the contract. She also wants to know what makes him tick, probably assuming that if she can find the root of the problem she could probably eradicate it and bring him back to the Vanilla side of life.

All it takes is one Fashion Show via her friend Kate to ruin Ana’s self-confidence and have her questioning her adequacy. She wants to show off her new bikinis she bought for her trip to Barbados it makes Ana feel quite terrible. She rushes right into her room and emails Christian what she thinks is a joking email:

Okay, I’ve seen enough.
It was nice knowing you.


For some reason she believes he’ll think it is funny. Most likely she did it because she wants him to fight for her, isn’t that what any girl wants? A little chase?

He doesn’t respond via email though, he shows up at her apartment a few hours later. Why not right? And isn’t he doing exactly what I think she wants? Chasing her. Better in person than via email. Romance points right there.

Vaguely, I’m aware that I’m still in my sweats, unshowered, yucky, and he’s just gloriously yummy…

More reason for Anastasia to feel insecure.

    “Well, I thought I should come and remind you how nice it was knowing me.”
Holy crap. I stare at him openmouthed, and his fingers move from my ear to my chin.
“What do you say to that, Miss Steele?”
His eyes blaze at me, his challenge intrinsic in his stare.

Christian Grey's tieAna does what any self-respecting woman would do in that situation — she throws herself bodily at him and they commence to reacquainting themselves with each other.

    He reaches done, and from his pants pocket, he takes out his silver-gray silk tie…that silver-gray woven tie that leaves small impressions of its weave on my skin. He moves so quickly, sitting astride me as he fastens my wrists together, but this time, he ties the other end of the tie to one of the spokes on my white iron headboard. He pulls at my binding, checking it’s secure. I’m not going anywhere. I’m tied, literally, to my bed, and I’m so aroused.

Without even signing a contract, it would seem Christian is introducing her to bondage.

    “If you struggle, I’ll tie your feet, too. If you make a noise, Anastasia, I will gag you. Keep quiet.”

Then he walks out of the room to get a drink. It is a punishment for the email. He has already begun, even though she hasn’t even agreed to anything. It is made worse by the fact that she doesn’t know what he considers “getting a drink” – leaving for the bar, going home etc.

But, he isn’t far and he comes back with wine and sets to do a bit of “light training”. It really is light, nothing off the charts, but they still haven’t discussed any limits and he is using the sex as a form of punishment on her. I think this is kind of a shame, because really she has no idea what he has in mind, or what the lifestyle entails. And frankly Anastasia is more obsessed with his past and inner hurts that she isn’t thinking about what he wants her to do.

She is especially obsessed with the woman she’s dubbed Mrs. Robinson and is supremely pissed/jealous/grossed out when she finds out he is still in touch with her.

“I see.” My voice is tight. “So you have someone you can discuss your alternative lifestyle with, but I’m not allowed.”
He frowns…
“…If you’d like, I can introduce you to one of my former subs. You could talk to her.”

Brilliant Christian. Brilliant work.

“I don’t want to talk to one of your ex-girlfriends…slave..sub…whatever you call them.”
“Anastasia Steele – are you jealous?”
I flush, crimson.
“Are you staying?”
“I have a breakfast meeting tomorrow at the Heathman. Besides, I told you, I don’t sleep with girlfriends, slaves, subs, or anyone. Friday and Saturday were exceptions. It won’t happen again.”

I would have thrown his 14K book at his head, right after I kicked his ass out of the door! But, poor Ana only feels like shit.

But now I feel like a receptacle-an empty vessel to be filled at his whim.

Men! But, even after that. The fact that he tore her down and made her feel cheap after he just screwed her — he gives her a bit of hope at the end of it.

He leans his forehead against mine, his eyes closed, his voice strained.
“Anastasia,” he whispers. “What are you doing to me?”
“I could say the same to you,” I whisper back.
Taking a deep breath, he kisses my forehead and leaves. He strolls purposefully {again} done the path toward his car as he runs his hand through his hair.

The hands running through his hair become a clue to his demeanor, one hand, slightly distraught, two hands through his hair, totally beserker. They become his tell.

Christian Grey, Edward Cullen

Poor Ana. Again I couldn’t imagine having to deal with a man like this with very little knowledge about relationships and sex. My first relationship was with an older guy and he bowled me over and that was just a matter of three years and we were both in high school. I couldn’t imagine dealing with this kind of crazy. Oh well, it is what makes this book so good, because you can put yourself in both spots, or at least I can. I can register my past self with Ana and oddly, my present self with Christian. Not that I want to dominate anyone or that, but I guess this book brings out the inner deviant in you! 😉

She does manage at the end of all of this to get her list of changes she wants made to the contract and things she refuses to bend on. Go head, girl. But, again, she’s obsessed with him and his past and the No Touching rule when it comes to him. It just shows you how deluded girls can become with men and the fact that they just might be able to change them. Look, I’m right there with you girls. I thought I could change those few pesky problems that my husband had before we got married. I tried. I put down “Hard Limits” — did anything change? Nope. In fact it usually gets worse. At some point you just have to accept them or move on. Either get on your knees Anastasia and accept those Nipple Clamps, or find yourself a nice meat and potatoes boy…

And that concludes Chapter 12 of Fifty Shades of Grey.

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