Fifty Shades Read AlongFifty Shades of Grey Chapter Four time

EL James left me in sort of a tizzy at the end of Chapter 3.  Ana was all like “Kiss me” and Christian was all like — “are all your limbs in place?”

Will they kiss?? **waiting with bated breath***

Then I’m all like disappointed with Christian’s evil teasingness and then his cryptic phrases:

“Anastasia, you should steer clear of me. I’m not the man for you,” he whispers.

Puh-lease Christian…thanks for dashing our dear heroines hope and left her feeling insecure. Men! Ana rushes home, tear-a-pouring and has to deal with Kate the Inquisitor, which leads to some Ana side-stepping and lying. The guy already has her lying to her friends and they haven’t even kissed yet! Kate does try to talk her into the fact that Christian is hot for Ana but she is just not feeling it and we are left with a lot of self-doubting and weird dreams.

Tess of the d’Urbevilles First Edition

Tess of the d’Urbevilles, First Edition. There were 1000 printed and copies in good condition are estimated at about 4K

The next day is Ana’s final exam and the end of her college career. It is also the day she receives Christian’s first extravagant present. Ana has quite an obsession with classic English literature, especially, Tess of the d’Urbevilles, which James “sort of” uses as a road map for Christian and Ana’s relationship. Much like ‘Twilight’ used ‘Wuthering Heights’ references.

The first editions are charming for Ana, but she knows she can’t accept such gifts. But, not tonight. Tonight is for celebrating — so Kate and Ana venture out to do some drinking for a college career well-done. Drinking, does lead to a loss of inhibitions and a bit of drunk dialing…

Ana: I giggle. I have no idea what the time is; maybe I’ll wake him. Perhaps he can tell me why he sent me those books and the cryptic message. If he wants me to stay away, he should leave me alone. I suppress a drunken grin and hit the “call” button. He answers on the second ring.

“Anastasia?” he’s surprised to hear from me.

But drunk Ana didn’t realize the scope of Christians protective streak and her drunk dialing ends with him rushing to the bar to her rescue. Can’t be drunk in public because it might lead to frisky friends name Jose trying to put the moves on her outside the bar just in time for him to witness it.

“Jose, no,” I plead. I don’t want this. You are my friend, and I think I’m going to throw up.

“I think the lady said no,” a voice in the dark says quietly. Holy shit! Christian Grey , he’s here. How? Jose releases me.

“Grey,” he says tersely. I glance anxiously up at Christian. He’s glowering at Jose, and he’s furious. Crap. My stomach heaves, and I double over, my body no longer able to tolerate the alcohol, and I vomit spectacularly on to the ground.

It was a strangely crafted scene, but it did have a fab outcome of Ana puking all over the place and Christian holding her hair — now that is love. Then some dancing…which really after a bout of spectacularly vomit, every girl feels like getting her boogie on. Dance dance, Christian can dance — whooh.

Then she passes out.

I’m a bout to pass out… and there was one quote in there, something about Ana’s mom telling her don’t trust a man who can dance — well I think mommy is wrong, unless of course you want to end up with some guy who is really terrible in bed. Rhythm really has a lot to do with it *snicker*

Laters, babe. It’s the weekend, we’ll check back in with Chapter five tomorrow.

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