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Supernatural Smack Down hosted by Dark Faerie Tales & Parajunkee's View Supernatural Smack Down hosted by Dark Faerie Tales & Parajunkee's View

Fighting for the PJV – Mark Stone’s Kalevi Hakala

Kalevi Hakala vs. McKenzie Lewis

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Name: Kalevi Hakala

Book Series: Things to Do in Denver When You’re Un-Dead
Job: Special Agent
Height: 6’ 4”
Weight: 210lbs
Hair: Blond
Eyes: Blue
From: Grand Rapids MN
Significant Other: None
Signature Move: Ripping opponents head off
Kill Highlights: Destroying a nest of vampires and killing supercharged ghouls
Enemies: Any Supernatural who threatens humankind
Favorite pastime: Killing Supernaturals.

PJV gives a warm welcome to, Kalevi Hakala

    I guess it’s time to say hello. If you don’t know who I am, it’s because the government doesn’t want you to and that’s a lot safer for you, believe me. However, since the first BSI (Bureau of Supernatural Investigations) file has been made public, the point is moot.

    As the name suggests, we at the Bureau investigate Supernatural incidents throughout the United States. My name is Kalevi Hakala, an agent with the Bureau, trained to hunt down and eliminate Supernatural threats by virtually any means necessary. If you’ve read my first file (Things to do in Denver when you’re Un-dead), then you know I’m pretty damn good at my job. Every agent is, but I’ve been there the longest. In a profession where the average life span of an agent is almost three years, I’ve been doing it for ten. I’m the best there is.

    Oh, I know what you’re saying: ‘How can he possibly survive a Supernatural Smackdown’. Right? There are several reasons, the first of which is all agents receive SEAL training at Coronado, which, of course, makes us bad ass like you can only dream about. Another reason is we never stop training. Day in, day out, we live, eat, crap and breathe training because not training will see us go down faster than two-dollar hooker. Others might be in good shape as well, but for us it’s a full-time job. All agents are masters of conventional firearms (as well as a few unconventional ones), knives, ancient weapons, and Krav Maga (the most brutal martial art in the world), along with Ju-Jitsu and anything else that will help us kill Supernaturals. That good enough for you?

    Oh, you want more. Okay, I can handle that. How about: Great guns, great tech, magical support, magical Bouncing Betty land mines, incredibly efficient body armor, spell absorption gear, nightvision contact lenses, silver bullets, wooden bullets, exploding bullets, armor piercing bullets, magic rings, amulets and equipment, acid bombs and devastating spell gems. Supernaturals are so dangerous, so devastating, that we are trained and equipped better than any other fighting force in the world, bar none. When it comes to new ways to kill, new technology, we have it first.

    More fun than humans should be allowed to have.

    What makes me, personally so special? Good question. I think it has to do with my early exposure to the Supernatural World (what we in the Bureau call The World Under). When I was fifteen I survived an encounter with what is called a Class Five Supernatural, a Being of Mythic or God-like proportions. It’s name was Iku-Turso and it was the inspiration for Lovecraft’s Cthulu mythos. Encountering the damn thing shattered my mind, but something…strange happened. I remained sane (barely) and developed an ability, one that makes me the baddest of the bad-asses.

    The Rage.

    Cool, huh? I don’t know how to describe it except as a controlled fury that allows me to consciously tap into my adrenal glands and produce feats of phenomenal strength and speed.  One of my most memorable moments was a hand-to-hand combat with a vampire, something no agent has survived. Except me. While in my rage, the vamp and I were locked in crushing embrace, its fingers digging into my titanium body armor, and I began to pound its pointy-head into a steel railing, my hands gripping its skull by its nasty white hair. By the time the fight was over, I’d ripped the vamps head clean off and spat down its neck.

    That rage allows me to stand toe-to-toe with nearly every monster that exists, and my equipment allows me to really rip them a new one. That and my 14” bowie knife.

    Why do I want to join this Smackdown? What will I get out to it?
    I get to kill Supernaturals, don’t I? ‘Nuff said.

For ten years Kal Hakala has been the Bureau of Supernatural Investigation’s top man, the longest surviving agent in its blood-soaked history. The World At Large has no idea that The World Under exists. And its vampires, demons, zombies, and mythic monsters are growing increasingly restless. In all Kal’s time with the Bureau, there has been no case he couldn’t crack, no monster he couldn’t kill. Then a plague of zombies comes to Denver, along with a vicious serial killer dubbed The Organ Donor. A childhood encounter with a legendary monster has left Kal with an endless supply of rage and hatred f
or all things Supernatural. But now the target is on his forehead, and the Un-Dead don’t die easy. The Bureau has a few aces of its own-a few magicians, a cyber-ghost. Unfortunately Kal is a perennial loner … And the World Under is wise to his tricks.

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Things to Do in Denver When You’re Un-Dead
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Supernatural Smack Down hosted by Dark Faerie Tales and Parajunkee's View