Please welcome M.M. Shelley  to M.M. Shelley is a storyteller, wordsmith and dreamer. MISHAP AND MAYHEM, a captivating story of faerie’s and magic, is her debut novel. She has traveled the world extensively in search of the magic which is often overlooked in every day life. M.M. Shelley is a native of southern California, and a student of mythology from which she gets much inspiration.

Ms. Shelley is offering up one paperback copy of her novel Mishap & Mayhem to one lucky U.S. commenter.  See PJV rules & regulations for more details.
 Contest ends July 22nd.

Time and Fuzzy Logic

My logic is fuzzier than a peach. Fuzzy logic has defining parameters that set degrees of truth, so “false”, “maybe” and “OK”, which is generally how I roll. This means that truth is defined in shades of gray, and ain’t nothing more unappetizing than a gray, fuzzy peach. Fuzzy logic is limited, and doesn’t apply to a lot of things, but I liked the way it sounded; besides, if a book can be named “Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance” which is not really about either, then I suppose I can do the same with this article.

It is said that James Thurber, renowned American humorist and all-around dead guy, feared running into himself while walking down the street. It’s not that he was especially clumsy; it’s that he literally was reported to think that, while walking down the sidewalk, a man would pass him and it would BE him, going in the other direction.

He’d sneak off to a corner phone booth and call his house, asking to see if he was there. Usually he wasn’t. I only mention Thurber because he exemplified the dark side of one on Einstein’s quotes: “Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” I don’t know about you, but my imagination can lead me to some pretty dark places, as you can see if you read my book, “Mishap and Mayhem.” Life is not all peaches and cream, and there we are, back to peaches. I must remember to buy some later.

Now for the fuzzy logic part: As you probably are aware, fuzzy logic is that stuff used by computers to process a number of variables, including time series analysis, into useful constructs. This is oversimplifying, but if I don’t oversimplify my neighbors throw rocks at me. Time being a construct that exists outside of dimensional space, there’s theories aplenty about what can and can’t be done with it. There’s the Einstein paradox – you know, the old chestnut about how you go back in time and kill your grandmama, so how do you exist? Einstein stated ‘time travel is impossible.’ He said a lot of things, including “The universe is NOT expanding. It’s constant (static).” Then In 1929 Edwin Hubble showed that the universe WAS, in fact, expanding, Einstein backpedaled like a Cirque du Soleil performer, and said it was “the greatest blunder of my life,” when he admitted that he re-wrote his equations to make it look like the universe was unchanging instead of expanding. This proves one thing: Einstein was a BIG FAT LIAR! You don’t re-write facts to make them fit your preconceived notions, facts is facts, even if you don’t like them! So if he lied about this, how are we supposed to give any credence to his “time travel is impossible” malarkey? I can see the conversation going something like this:

Einstein, upon discovering that time travel is possible, and realizing the colossal muckety mess people could make of reality upon realization of this fact: “Attention, people! Time travel is IMPOSSIBLE!!!”

Random Guy: kicking his instep and looking at the ground : “Aw, shucks, I don’t know about that.”

Einstein: panicking: “And even if it WERE possible, you’d go back in time and kill your grandma, and then you’d be NOTHING!!! And this would set up the basis for a whole bunch of bad Terminator movies!!!! And who wants THAT???”

Random Guy: looking confused: ????

Einstein: burning his notes as fast as he can: “So Time Travel is Impossible!!! Just get it out of your head RIGHT NOW!!!!!”

Random Guy: “What’s in those papers you’re burning?

“Einstein: “Papers? What papers? These are …. Really, really thin tinder sticks! Yeah, that’s the ticket! And why do you ask that? It’s none of your business, nosey!

Random Guy: Your pants are on fire.

So as you can see by my wholly made up scenario, even Einstein wasn’t sure about time travel. The big fat liar.

To conclude: Fuzzy logic develops in computers, which become sentiment, and then they mess with the time-space continuum. This leads, in turn, to the Terminator movies, and a lot of plot holes that you can drive a truck through. Simple. See? No? Well, I’m not going to explain it again.

If I have offended anyone with my ersatz science, hurry up and get over yourself. I am naught but a humble writer. You don’t know how long I’ve waited to use “naught” in a sentence. In actuality I can’t tell a fuzzy gray peach from a particle physicist. In my defense, there’s sometimes quite the resemblance (see Leonard Susskind.) I’ve got to run, I just saw myself coming down the street, and I think I’ll join me for lunch.

Thanks to parajunkee for letti
ng me share with you all today. You can find me over at my blog and on twitter @MM_Shelley

Much love,

M.M. Shelley

For centuries magical beings have hidden in the darkness, waiting. Some good, some evil. A battle is brewing, and only twins, Grasiella and Tatiana, have the power to stop it.

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