Ahoy thar matey! Today Parajunkee’s View has a special treat fer ye land lubbers. We’re doin’ some cover snark – all centered around a band ‘o scurvy pirates. Yep, ye heard me right – thar was enough bad cover design in th’ pirate genre to make a post ‘bout it! Aargh!

So hide ye gold purse, cause these scurvy tomes are fit to make you stay off of Amazon fer a bit…

A cover with CGI chicks "ghosted" over a ship...a blurb that will make you cringe, this one has it all.

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Many centuries ago, a vision came to the royal seer with a prophecy that showed a warlord ruling the land until she came to claim what was rightfully hers.
Princess Kataryna’s widowed father, King Theos, raised her from birth, to one day, become queen and rule over Pavlone. When she turned fifteen the princess had no idea that the Fates would start her on an obscure path to her final destiny. On that day as she rode into a meadow of wildflowers a dark rider came upon her, thus beginning her tumultuous journey of love and adventure.
Raven only wanted to escape the blows that life had dealt her. She longed to be on the open sea and free. When she came upon a beautiful young girl sitting alone in the middle of a meadow, little did she know that her destiny would be changed forever.
Will they become the pawns of the ancient vision or will both paths lead to the same port of destiny? Find out it in this exciting high seas adventure that will capture your imagination.

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The really bad hair did this one for me. Oh and she's being Ursula'd by the ship...

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All I see is "little girl" chest and one BIG nipple...I can't take my eyes away from the nipple.

And what is with the bad opacities today??

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I think that's an ear...no maybe it's his sword. No...wait, that might be a chiweenie.

 

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Safe in the pirates arms...or really...safe in a bad feather over an oddly proportioned ship...

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And for the Grand Finale - cover design 101. If you can't find an image for your novel that matches the genre, just grab a random pic of a girl and just hit Command-I in Photoshop. Works every time!

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