In today’s society, it’s pretty easy to offend someone. The majority of social media scatter brains spend most of their days searching the web just to find someone to take offense with. They love to get offended. They’ll take a situation and dissect it and find 101 ways to be offended, then write a post about it, break it down and tell you why YOU should be offended too.

Let’s All Be Offended!!!

The majority of the time when I read posts like this, I leave their little corner of the internet shaking my head and finding myself with a brain cell deficiency. I just wasted 10 minutes of my life, raised my blood pressure and dropped my IQ. Thanks. But, it is funny to watch…stupidity is oftentimes amusing. Wait – did I offend you? 

But, let’s back it up a bit…if you read on, you’ll probably be offended at some point.

 

Ten Common Ways to Offend Someone on Social Media

10. Declare that you are a Conservative

There is no better way to piss the vast majority off by stating that you have “Conservative Tendencies.” The moment you come out and say this, you’ll be labeled a racist, anti-gay, bigot, sexist oppressor of women, destroyer of planets, currently engaged in the War on…. {insert current oppressed type of person/animal/plant/thing here}.

9. Use a Fake Name

It doesn’t matter that everyone else, including your grandmother uses a fake name on the internet if you are caught using a fake name – SHAME ON YOU!!!!!! You deceived the masses! You made them believe false truths about you! You shattered their trust! Oh, the shame! Oh, the indignity! Oh, they’ve been lied too!!! It doesn’t matter that the person posting that you are a fake and a liar posts under “King Julien.” Nope, not at all. At least he is open in his deception of being a lemur.

8. Be Blissfully Unaware

Whether you take a selfie in front of a car accident or shamelessly promote your latest blog post during a social media crisis, by being blissfully unaware you unknowingly stick your toe in a pool full of piranhas. It’s like walking into a party that was just hit by an exploding “poop” bomb and declaring “let’s get this shit started!” You should have known that THIS was going on! What is wrong with you?? If you want to really offend someone, tie a promotional post in with whatever current crisis is going on… “I know everyone is freaked out about the Ebola vaccine, but lose yourself in my latest Urban Fantasy novel to get your mind off of things.” 

7. Insult Someone’s Child

No matter how much that little bundle of joy is acting like a lunatic, acting out, or just being a straight up menace. If you even turn around and look at them, offer any advice or critique the parenting – you’ll be ostracized and belittled with no regard for your own personal feelings. Oh, and your own children will be fair game.

Jodie Arias Glares At Crying Child

6. Create A Group or Team and Call it Something Competitive/Scary/Metaphorical…

You know people love dishing it up, especially when there is a group or team that just gets their goat. Want to offend? Create a club and call it something like “Smart People Only Club” or “Pretty People Social Club” and see how people react. Especially if you don’t let them in your club.

5. Support a Cause That Isn’t Popular

There are some people/things/plants that really need help, but for some reason, the masses just don’t want to support a cause that helps them. For example, Kirsten Lee of Pottery & Poems Book Blog is overweight and wants to go on a month long “detox & weight loss” retreat. You are helping her crowdfund her adventure. She swears she’ll blog about it, but for some reason, no one likes Kirsten Lee. It’s probably because she’s a huge supporter of {insert offensive author here} Just by supporting her crowdfund you might find yourself not so liked yourself.

4. Defend Someone that Offended Someone

You just jumped in and defended someone that is currently being bombed by the social media morals brigade. Good luck, you just joined their cause, even if you have NO clue about what it is.

3. Write Something That Could be Slightly Taken Out of Context if you Looked at it Sideways and Through a Magnifier

That tweet you just posted sounds racist if  CANDY CANE is a euphemism for male genitalia and Santa is a metaphor for mud. Watch yourself. Even not tweeting something, even though people expect a tweet or comment might get you in trouble. Ask Joss Whedon, he does this all the time.

2. Sarcasm

Sarcasm doesn’t really work well within 140 characters or the written word for that matter. Most of the time if you use sarcasm – you’ll be misunderstood and offend someone. The best thing to do is just mean what you say and say what you mean, unless of course it’s offensive. Then just shut-up.

Sarcasm

1. Post About Religion or Politics

No matter which way you slice it there will be someone on the other side of the aisle that will get offended by your stance.  Especially if your post is incendiary… and you might not even think it is incendiary. You might just be supporting your local politician and have no idea that he has amassed a large group of haters…oops. Have fun with that.

 

free-speech